Not Your Average Jane

Ok, so I haven’t done a serious blog or a real blog about my love life or lack thereof in a quite a while… At least a couple of days… For me that’s forever as most anyone who reads any of my stuff on a regular basis may know… For those that don’t know... My blog is usually a whose who of my crushes at the moment are… And I haven’t done a ‘serious’ (i.e. deep or philosophical or just plain rambling without making a lot of sense to anyone other than me) blog in even longer… So here it is… The serious, yet love lifey blog…

So my love life sucks sorta… I’ve had some luck early last week in that department but by Friday it was just sorta blah… Tuesday I went out and got a lil crazy like I haven’t done in a long time and ended up meeting a lot of guys, a few I’ve developed a bit of a thing for… Nothing’s come of it and one guy I previously had a thing for seems to have a girlfriend now... Damn the luck…. BUT I did have at least one guy swear he was in love with me (and I was and still a bit interested in him, we’ll see if anything works out there) and a random ok looking guy tell me I was fucking hot… His words exactly… You’re fucking hot. Who am I to argue with him, ya know? I also found out I have a crush on a guy another girl I know is into… Oops…

So Thursday comes along and I’ve done what I tend to do and built it up a bit in my mind… NEVER a good idea… Yeah Guy A was there (I think I blogged about him Sunday or Monday) and it turns out he has a girlfriend… As did another hottie I was talking to… What’s up with that?!?!?! Guy A also remembered nothing about what had happened at the Armadillo Palace… Made me feel REALLY good… (total sarcasm there) If I hadn’t have had a friend coming later I may have just left by 10…. But I stayed and went over to talk to him for a bit… (when I found out he didn’t remember about the Palace) Then toward the end of the night when I was about to leave I went to say good bye to him and he actually put down his guitar and stood up to tell me bye and give me a hug… That man is such a good hugger… Just his hug was a good enough reason to stay, no lie… I’ve only met one other guy who hugs as well and he’s not really speaking to me right now… Well he is sorta but nothing like before all the drama…

So now onto the ‘serious’ portion of the evening… Or blog as the case may be…

Early in the week, I read about a guy who I only vaguely know through GW, but whose wife I know from shows and GW and is such a doll… Anyway I read that he was dying (by the time I’d read about it he’d already passed away) and that his family needed prayers…

I rarely post in that area of GW, since I figure prayers are more of a private thing… You make a request I’ll pray for whoever… Though I may or may not publicly state I am… I’m an attention whore I admit but that’s just one of those things that’s too solemn to grab attention about…

Anyway by the time I’d read about the prayer request he’d already passed and his wake had already been held and a guy I know on GW posted this really awesome thing…. Check it out…. Brandon’s post from GW…. (and GW stands for Galleywinter for those that don’t know…)

I posted this in a blog...and thought it would be good to share here....

Tonight we went to the viewing of a friend. I'm not going to pretend that it was an extremely close friend.... BUT, I think that anybody that ever came in contact with this man was touched in one way or another. He was genuine...kind... and just loved music. I met him and his wife several years back at a show when I was still in high school... and over the years, they kinda watched me grow up in that scene. They have been 2 people that any time I knew they were coming out, I always looked forward to it.

Anyways, we walked in.... Jodie was sitting on the couch... and there he was. Holly tapped Jodie, and she came around and hugged us and thanked us for coming.... and then something that I wasn't prepared for happened. She said she wanted to introduce us to Harry's mother...she went and got his mother...and introduced us.... and said "they are a part of the galleywinter family". I then went and did something else that I'm not very good at...and wasn't prepared for.... I walked up to the casket.

No matter how many times....how close I am.... or whatever the circumstance.... I'm not good at dealing with that. This time I kind of internalized it, because I didn't really wanna lose it in front of Jodie. But there he lay.... a Ray Wylie Hubbard "Snake Farm" t-shirt with a pearl snap over it....and his Ragweed baseball cap. It was perfect.... I know he's gone on to a better place... and that the body he left behind was just a shell.... but he looked alot like I remembered him.... and I don't think he would have wanted it any other way.

I got home, and got to thinking about the night.... and specifically her calling us part of the "galleywinter family". This is the conclusion I've come to....
The friends that we've made all over the state/country (though most are moving to the state) in this scene.... have come from galleywinter or joined galleywinter or are in some way shape or form associated with galleywinter. BUT, for whatever reason... we have become friends... and it transcends the music that brought us together. No matter how much we stay away from galleywinter, don't go to the shows, and just grow.... we're family. The ties that bind us might not be blood, but it is a passion for the same things and that passion blooms friendships that last forever. We are family...

And for some...it is the closest they have to a real family. It really hit me tonight.... that there are people who, though I have not seen in quite a while, consider me friend.... and some.... consider me family. That's nuts to me.... but I'm very thankful for that.

Harry, good bye old friend.... enjoy the music of our heroes.... and thank you for the memories and touching my life....

Yeah that shit’s awesome… And he’s so right… No matter where we go or what we do or how we grow, GW’s a family based on a love of music… We may argue and we may have drama but under all that we’re a group of fans who will be there for each other and others in need… We will spread the word on Texas music and we will live and laugh and love and grow as a family… We may not see each other often… Some never at all but we still remain at the ‘root of the root’ as EE Cummings says, a family….. And our family lost one of its members this week… So if you get a chance, throw a prayer out there for Harry and his family… I wish I’d gotten a chance to know the man I’ve heard so much about… His love of the music and his support of musicians from way back is something I admire and will be missed…

Also Thursday night I found myself able to explain some things about myself and the way I’ve been changing and growing… I’ve found that by basing so much of my life around music, that its become the end all be all cornerstone of my life… I have friends that are into the same sort of music… I’ve only dated guys into the same kind of music… I have enemies that dig the same music I do… So in the last few weeks I’ve made more of a conscious effort to space myself away from my ‘music life’… And to branch out and discover other things… Other people that I don’t hang out with based on their musical choices alone… So its much like Brandon wrote about, regardless of how much I grow or change, GW will always be part of my family… But I’m changing and I’m growing, as most people tend to do… I’ll always love music and it’ll always be a huge chunk of who I am but its time to quite making decisions based on music…

As part of that plan I’m going out to lunch and iceskating later today with a group of single friends… So we’ll see how that turns out and how badly bruised I am Monday…

All right that’s it for the love/serious blog…

posted by Ali @ 12:28 AM