Thursday, December 08, 2005

I’ve been thinking a lot of about the fact I’m actually graduating next week… I only have like 3 or 4 things to finish/do before I graduate… One more observation, finishing a take home test, showing up Tuesday at 1 for Dr B and that mandatory graduation thing Thursday. Plus packing to go home… I had my last class yesterday… I think that’s what brought this on… My last college class… Kinda overwhelming… Its looking more like that will be on Thursday morning, rather than Friday…. And I turned 27 this week so I’m thinking more about life and the future… I’m proud of myself, and I feel like celebrating… Yet I’m sad that one chapter of my life is coming to a close… A chapter I’ve worked long and hard to complete. I just feel like crying… Out of sadness, happiness, relief, anxiety… I’m just overcome with emotion pretty much… And I don’t know what to do with all of it… It may just be one of those times I just need to cry… But I hate to… I get all red and puffy and my eyes turn red and burn, and I get a headache and my chest hurts afterwards and I’m all stuffy… Not fun at all… But I may just need the release that a good cry can provide… Cuz I’ve just got all this stuff inside me that blogging about just won’t let me express the way I want to. After my hall meeting tonight I may watch Beaches (my need to cry movie)… But then I told Ms Haynes I’d be at Westside at 9 am… I just hope the roads aren’t icy… Darnit…
Other junk… It snowed last night… For a couple of hours… And today there was still a couple of inches on the ground… Then theres supposed to be an artic cold front coming through tonight…. And all I have to warm my room is a space heater… and whatever layers I throw on… So I’m in long sleeves, my sweatshirt jacket, jeans and hiking socks… And when I sit on my bed I throw my afgan over my legs… And even then I’m still cold, dammit… Its redicufuckingless… And I think I just made up another new word… Ah well…
I’ve somehow had time today to think about men… I slept till like 11 and I got up when I heard Jon in the hall talking about his goal of seeing every girl on this hall naked… That’s one way to make me laugh in the morning… :0) Then I worked on my take home final for Dr Lynda and my observations for her… I read some and played on the internet and then I finally took a shower… The only time I’ve truly been warm today was taking a hot shower…. You know that tingly feeling you get when even lukewarm water hits parts that are cold? That was like my whole damn body… So yeah I got like a third of the take home done and I’m just lacking one observation which I’m doing in the morning and I’m done with Dr Lynda’s class…. I just have to show up at the finals time on Tuesday for Dr Betty and I’m done with her class… Then that damn mandatory graduation thing Wednesday night… Wilma emailed me and asked me to RSVP… I’m like you’re an idiot I told you I didn’t want to go but you said it was mandatory so of course I’ll be there… Didn’t say that… But I did gently remind her that since it was the middle of the week and a long distance from home for me, that I would be the only one in attendance… Then I went to dinner in the caf for the first time this week… People acted impressed to see me… I didn’t think I’d been anti social, just busy… Not this weekend though… I’m going to try to finish the take home tomorrow or Monday, finish the observations tomorrow and take the weekend off. Why? Because I’ve worked the last 3 weekends… Last weekend like a freaking maniac on that unit… Ugh… I am so glad that’s done and turned in…
But back to the me thinking about men thing… So I was thinking about this guy that wanted my email (one of those internet sites like myspace or something) and stuff… I got to thinking he’s the type of guy I should be dating… Don’t know if I’ll date him or not but his type is my type… Does that make sense? It does to me… Don’t get me wrong I still love all men… And I may always be a lil boy crazy, but I think I’m settling into more of a defined version of what I want in a man… Kinda cool…Yeah that’s about it… laters.

posted by Ali @ 10:53 PM

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