Not Your Average Jane

So its new years eve and I’m home almost alone… La and her boyfriend are here but in another room watching a movie. I’m shocked frankly. He’s crashing here with my moms permission. I thought we had to be married before a boy could sleep over… I guess she’s not as conservative as I thought. I haven’t really thought of any resolutions yet but I did do a “My Year In Review” sort of thing… Check it out…

January – Working at Dillards… Started out the year with a lil drama, almost messed up a friendship, had a couple of crushes, some stress about one of said crushes, Kevin became my Dear Abby, spent a lot of time with Sean, couple of major car accidents, stress about potential drama, La’s b-day, the return of Pixie and lots of live music…

February – Livestock Show and Rodeo, more time with Sean, still working at Dillards, GREENFEST!!!!, lots more live music, get the flu, Mom’s B-day, and start slacking big time at work… discovered Burke, Josh Grider and a bunch of other new artists I’d never heard of pre GF….

March – Livestock Show and Rodeo, still working at Dillards n hating it, still slacking, more live music, lots of thinking about school and life in general, Easter with the fam, I was almost Mrs Robinson, 2 new babies were born into my family, St Patty’s Day, jobhunting, discovery of Matt Burns at a Stoney show, some boy craziness, Girl Scout Cookie time…

April – STILL working at Dillards, still slacking at it, STILL hating it, more jobhunting, some work drama, learning more about how I learn, some drama with the ex, Thompson goes AWOL, spent a lot of time with B and Sean, more boy craziness, lots of live music

May – Memorial Day weekend(probably the best ever), boy drama, STILL working at Dillards, STILL slacking and STILL jobhunting, gave notice at Dillards, death of Kirby, lots and lots of live music, more school worries, got a job at Loehmanns, the ex showing up unexpectedly, my first PG show in like 2 years, Cinco De Mayo, Mother’s Day

June – started going to the 3 man jam things and Kay’s lounge a lot, Linz’s birthday, started working at Loehmann’s, quit Loehmanns, boy drama with a hot boy and his friend, lots of live music, new glasses, jobhunting, drama with school, went to Fitz’s for the first time in years, lots of time with the boys, my first jury duty, Trailers in Corpus

July – deciding to go back to school, 4th of July, started using netflix, more time with the guys, some live music, River Jam, started talking to the ex again, the new Harry Potter book came out, more 3 man jam, boy drama, some job hunting, and some friend drama

August – Going back to school, live music, more time with family and friends, Hurricane Katrina….

September – being in school, bored, classes, a few cute boys, Hurricane Rita, feeling like Mrs Robinson, making new friends, myspace, brown bagger’s proposition, got my new cell phone, feeling like a kid and grandma all at the same time…

October – school, midterms, fall break, lots of studying, lil bit of boy drama, a recall on my car, being bored, a DD from brownbagger, Halloween, family weekend…

November – Thanksgiving at the Tilleys, still in school, lots of studying n homework, one final, seeing the new Harry Potter movie on IMAX, my Dale Jr crush/becoming a NASCAR fan, discovering Nat was pregnant, dropping British Lit…

December – in school, studying, getting all my last minute projects done, my birthday, finals week, coming home, Ryan Turner and Wade Bowen at the Firehouse, Christmas shopping, started jobhunting, Josh Owen at the Firehouse, running into Matt Burns, discovering my hot neighbor is too much like my ex for comfort, and last (but certainly not least) meeting a lovely guy who I don’t know if anything will come of meeting him but I’m not adverse to it if it does… Hell I’d be all over it… :0)

And sometime in there I become an Astros fan ( I think in April) and had a huge crush on Brandon Backe, felt more comfortable in my own skin, felt as though my mother didn’t love me as much as she does my sisters, felt like a guy I met only casually was my conscience, lost 30 pounds and gained 15, and graduated from college… Its been quite a year for me… Here’s to hoping 2006 is bigger, better, filled with laughter and love and lots of fun and friends.

With that I say good bye to 2005 and hello to 2006… Happy New Year Yall! Laters.

posted by Ali @ 11:28 PM 0 Comments

Ok, so I’m much better than I was last night… I was just so incredibly unbelievably pissed off. Now I’m over it for the most part, I just never want to see, talk to, or have to deal with that man in any way whatsoever. Lesson to him… Don’t fuck with me. Or else you get on my shit list… It’s short, since I don’t like wasting energy with hate or anger, but he’s now one of those privileged few. I can only think of like 3 people on it, THAT’S how short it is. Now he’s lucky number 4. If I could get away with giving him a piece of my mind with no consequences I would do it. But he’s such a ball-less wonder he’d go straight to my mom and tattle like one of her kindergarten students. Instead of the supposed 28 or 29 year old man he’s supposed to be. He’s such an asswipe. Linz and I were discussing this today, since mom told her most everything that went on and I filled her in on my end of things… Her words… He’s such an ass, he’s gotta be on drugs or something (she thinks coke), and he’s using a website with a good purpose to get laid. I’m not against sex, (in fact its almost the opposite) but to take advantage of girls that may (I admit they may sleep with him knowing the score) be using that site for purer purposes, is just not right. Linz also pointed out not all guys are there for that… (I think hes giving guys on the internet a bad name) As for the whole me not calling 911 thing… Linz brought up something (and I told her I was drunk, we are sisters after all) I’m a single, white girl and it was late at night, what about my own safety? I’ve seen girls in arguments with guys and if anyone tries to intrude they get their asses kicked… And that chick was drunk and belligerent and bigger than me (taller) so she would have at least one advantage over me. Linz said he should have been able to handle his own business himself… I told her about my his lacking balls comment and she agreed… And I'm not sure in what context or how it came up but mom mentioned something about wanting to move into John's townhouse after they get married because he weirds her out... Interesting....
On to happier things though… The cute sweet seeming guy from Tuesday night. Talk about your happy thoughts… :0) So I sorta kinda met him over the summer when I was always hanging out at the firehouse/kays listening to Kyle and Brett and those guys play… I don’t know if we ever ‘formally’ met but we saw each other around sort of. So I ran into him Tuesday (ok, so I knew he was playing there and I went to see him since I really dig his music) and Richelle shows up about halfway through… First time I’d seen her since August and I got to see the new tattoo and hear more about her new man, he sounds fabulous… I was going to request a song that he used to play a lot that I love but I didn’t get to before he was done. Too bad but I’ll live. Anyway so they finish up and his guitarist comes up to me and is like I know you, you’re ali from myspace right? And we visited for a few minutes. He goes away and then HE came over a lil while later. He’s all like so your from myspace huh? And I was like yeah but I used to see you every now and then over at kays for dubs songwriters nights… Turns out he’s not only an ex marine, and current musician (plus he wears a cowboy hat and looks fabulous in it *sigh*) he’s also a firefighter… I think before he uttered a word I was a goner… Turns out hes opening for somebody at the firehouse at the end of January and he hangs out at kays a lot… He never mentioned a girlfriend… I’m guessing between work, music and hanging out with his roomies at Kay’s, he doesn’t have a lot of extra time for a girlfriend. Anyway so we were talking for a bit and then he had to leave to check out a band at some other bar to audition someone for his band… He even apologized for dropping an f bomb which I can’t recall anyone ever doing… He got that cute lil boy who knows he may get in trouble for saying something he shouldn’t… So adorable… I spaced out completely and forgot to give him my #... But I remedied that today with a very casual message to a mutual friend who will pass along my message and #... Hopefully he does it and even more hopefully HE calls… :0) That would be awesome… I hope he does and I hate waiting but sometimes all the best things are worth the wait… So I hear… But I think I may get to see him again next Tuesday at the same bar, a different band is playing but he knows and likes the guy playing so who knows… Also it turned out that the firehouse he works out of is the one that should anything happen at mom’s its his company (or is it called ladder? I don’t know, I’m not up on my fireman terms) that answers the call… Kinda cool I thought… So yeah to recap… He’s hot in a cowboy hat, he’s so damn cute it hurts, he’s an ex marine/current musician/firefighter, polite, and seems really sweet. Is it possible that I may have found one of the last good guys in the world? And is it possible not all musicians are drugged out manwhores? (he said he's never done drugs, its the man whore part I have no idea about.)I don’t know but I hope to find out…. Laters.

posted by Ali @ 11:52 PM 0 Comments

I am just so pissed right now. I’m not as upset as I was before the movie but if I see him anytime tonight I’m likely to go off on him and tell him exactly what I think about his nosy, overprotective, unwanted, unneeded idiocy… Of whom do I speak so? My formerly hot neighbor… The moron who wants to change who he is and I think has somehow tried to involve me in it…. Don’t ask, its rash and unreasonable I know, but its how I feel right now. Let me give a bit of background… Shar is Iranian but he’s Catholic and he almost looks white, except in the summer time when he looks very middle eastern since he tans so easily… Now he wants to change his name legally to something that sounds very Irish/Caucasian. I can understand not wanting to be yourself but he’s Iranian, its part of his identity, his genetic makeup and he’s trying to shrug it off just because its not a comfortable time for middle eastern people in the U.S. Sorry, bud, you take the good and the bad with your ethnicity. I DID feel sympathetic toward him until today when he way overstepped his boundaries and nosed his ass into my business. I barely know the name as anything other than moms neighbor… He never even knew my name until yesterday! I was out in my car getting a blank CD for La and he came out to get Linz’s phone # since he’d hit her car the day before… So he subtly is like so I saw your profile on match.com… I’m like yeah so what…. I’m busy, can’t you see that… Didn’t say that I just shrugged it off like thought I’d try something new and different… I didn’t mention that before last weekend I haven’t touched that account in like 2 years! I updated my account just because I was updating everything else, he saw I had been active blah blah…. Anyway so he calls over here and talks mom into going over there for a martini… We’re both thinking its about Linz’s car, ok, no biggie… She comes home and we go to pier one before going to the movies. And she drops the bomb on me. Shar said he saw your profile on match.com, I didn’t know you were using that… I tried to explain to her but then she cut me off… Turns out they had sat there together reading my damn profile… What the hell? She then starts to tell me everything wrong with what I said. Shes like Shar says most guys are there to get girls to have sex with them… I was like I know how guys think… (how old am I again?!?!?) I almost told her, don’t you think I want to have sex? I mean come on, you’ve damn near caught me once, does that not prove anything… But I don’t do casual sex, unfortunately… It would make my life so much easier… Ah well. But back to Shar and my damn nosy ass neighbors… Mom then proceeds to tell me Shar and another of the ladies complained to her about the loudness of my music and how fast I drove last night… No faster than usual (in my opinion) and my windows and my moonroof were all open so it seemed louder I told her… She seemed to accept that and then she drops another one on me… Do you remember Shar arguing with a woman a few monthes ago? I was like yeah vaguely… Do you remember him asking you to call 911… I was like sort of… Shes like why didn’t you… I told her a fib… I was drunk and I thought he should grow a pair in truth, but I didn’t tell her that… I just said I thought I’d seen his cell in his hand (and I may have) and thought he had it undercontrol and that it was none of my damn business. Shes like no, she was breaking stuff and throwing rocks, etc… I’m like, I didn’t know, I’m sorry. The one night I get drunk, and come in stumbling a bit (I was totally focused on getting to the door and up to bed) he has to have drama with one of his girlfriends. He got himself in that mess and he should have the balls to get himself out. I don’t do drama for anyone, let alone when I’m drunk and for some guy I barely even know. Mom’s like it makes me sick you didn’t do anything and I couldn’t admit the truth without incriminating myself and getting yelled at more… And I’m sorry, I’m not a very coherent drunk and my ADD goes away so I can only do one thing at a time. That one thing that night was getting to bed. So I’m freaking pissed at his nosy-nelly ness… My stomach is hurting and my hands are shaking and I just want to go over there and scream at him. Part of it may be because I may be seeing this guy I like tonight but right now I’m too upset to care. And you know I’m mad when that shit happens… I was going to make this all about this awesome, cute, polite guy I met last night until this shit went down. I can’t make myself calm down right now, its just making me so damn incredibly mad. And its hard to piss me off as most people know… I think the best thing for me right now is to call B and get him to meet me at Blancos… Or just go to Blancos and have a beer and chill…. Its songwriters night so maybe the music will sooth me a lil… Hell I even turned on my Metallica, which if you know me well, you know when I put on the black album, somethings wrong… Yeah… I’m going to get ready and see how I feel in half an hour or so… laters.

posted by Ali @ 8:31 PM 0 Comments

Ok, so I'm back in Houston... :0) Since I last posted lets see what all has happened....
1. I did the commencement ceremony, but the whole time I couldn't quit thinking about everything I still needed to pack and get done before I could leave Thursday morning... I kept almost falling asleep during the speaker... Mainly becuz the whole lack of sleep the few days before, working on projects and finals and just the constant on the go ness I'd had going on finally got to me when I sat down for longer than 5 minutes. And the whole thing seemed really surreal... And I kept wishing it was over... Becuz as it turns out, they made me walk the damn stage... I showed up cuz it was mandatory... I thought they'd call names, we'd stand up and people would clap... OOOO, no.... Robes, walking the stage, the whole 9.... Ridiculous.... I admit I was a bit of a bitch when they told me thats how it would be but when I don't want to do something and I'm forced into PLUS I'm stressed about a million other things, I tend to get a lil moody....
2. I got up at 6 Thursday morning(technically at 5 since Cayenne and Sean were yelling and slamming doors....) and Aaron checked me out at 7... I was on the road by 7:30... The drive wasnt that bad and I wasnt really tired... I got back into town about 5:15 and right outside downtown hit traffic... I moved exactly one mile in one hour... Then cuz I had to go to the bathroom so bad I got off on 45 and went like I was goin to Linz's sorority house... Went to the bathroom as some nasty looking Shell on Old Spanish Trail since I couldn't get ahold of Linz... By the time I got home it was about 7... Lauren and I spent a couple of hours catching up (we hadn't seen each other since August) and then Mom came home and we caught up...
3. Friday was spent mostly unpacking my car... Its still not done yet.... Then Friday night Linz, La, Baby and I went to see Chronicles of Narnia... Pretty good I must say.... Then La and I went to Pei Wei for dinner...
4. Saturday.... Pretty much just hung out with the fam... And then Saturday night went to the Firehouse... Ryan Turner and Wade Bowen... Run into a bunch of people I hadn't seen in forever and a day... And one or 2 infamous ones.... :0) I even got a free CD from Marshall since I knew all the words to the songs... (finally my talent comes in handy for something!!!) I'm not much for bald guys but he wasn't too darn shabby looking.... Neither brown bagger or his friend showed up... darnit... I got home at like 230 this morning and La had JUST gotten home before me... Then I slept till like noon today... Pretty much all I've done all day is job hunt, revamp my resume, apartment hunt, shop for a tv, and go to the grocery store.... Tomorrow night we're all going out to dinner at Marc's John's gift to the family... Thats nice I thought... Mom and he are going to announce their plans to get married in the next year... I kinda thought they might get married eventually but I overheard her telling aunt diane that... I wasn't intentionally eavesdropping, but I heard my name and I was in the kitchen and she was in the den so I couldn't really NOT listen... :0) Tomorrow I'm also going to start Christmas shopping... Mom wants a Susan Tedeschci (sp?) CD... Whatever's newest... Linz wants money or a gift certificate to Anthro... La's my only toughie... And I'll be shopping some for myself too... Mom also suggested we chip in and get John a gift... He is part of the family and he is giving us gifts (besides dinner)... I'll talk to the girls about it and we'll see what we can do... I think Mom's going to get it and just have us pay her back, which would be great, less stress on me...
yeah thats about it for now.... laters.

posted by Ali @ 9:58 PM 0 Comments

I am so damn tired.... I packed up most of my room yesterday and almost all of my stuff is in my car with a few noteable exceptions... The computer, tv, my hanging up stuff, phone and stuff I need for tomorrow morning... And I have to take all my trash (like 3 bags of it) out at some point... All I want to do is take a nap now... But I have that damn ceremony at I have to be at at 5:30... Ugh. Then once I get all the rest of my crap in the car, I leave tommorrow after I check out... I hope I can be on the road around 7 but it will probably be about 7:30 or so before I hit the road... But at least I've gotten gas in the car, checking out the tires and under the hood and I have cash... So I'm almost as ready as I can be... Its kinda sad... Leaving here and closing a chapter of my life and opening another... But its also like I'm ready... Its past time... I finished my last final yesterday (I just had to show up and get my final grades - both B's... :0) ) and I came back and started to pack... All I felt was like it was just a big let down... And I don't know why... I wasn't expecting any choruses of angels to show up and sponateoneously burst into song or anything... It just seems like I've gotten here... Now what? I know logically what comes next, getting a job and an apartment and I look forward to those.... I'm also a bit apprehensive... I don't like change and this is a biggie...
Ok on to other stuff.... Hopefully a bit more chipper... So a while back I blogged about Wade propisitioning me... Back in like October or September I think... So I was watching Fresh Prince on Nick At Nite before I went to bed the other night.... And I bust a gut when Will Smith said, "I'm feeling froggy... You feeling like jumping?" It was almost word for word what Wade had said to me... Except Will was talking about fighting some guy...
Other stuff... I heard the ex had gained a lot of weight... He wasn't a small guy to begin with, now it just shows more I hear.... I also heard that someone who didn't know him thought he was adorable and thought he should have a girlfriend... I laughed.... I wanted to tell her thats the last thing he needs right now.... I was also talking to a girl in my Behavior Management class and she has an ex not as bad as mine but its still made her really leery of men and relationships... I guess that I'm lucky in that he didn't make me that way... Sure I'm hesitant to get involved with a guy but thats been for a variety of reasons, not just the ex....
On to my dreams... I had one about Dillards last night... Haven't had one of those in a quite a while... I went back and I was walking around trying to see who worked there... Cruz was still there so were Hakeem, Rose and Ignacio.... Very odd.... Another one involved Matt (wade's friend)... He proposed to me... That was interesting... I eventually said yes but it was an interesting dream because there were some twists and turns getting to the yes... Including a long talk about my ex... I said something about "I wasn't really IN that relationship.... Sure we were dating but it was long distance so it was just easier to say I had an out of town boyfriend. We weren't really... We only saw each other once every week or 2..." Could that mean anything subconsiously? It very well could.... Interesting....
So yeah thats about it... Anyone need to get ahold of me through Friday morning ish... Try the cell... See yall when I get home... Laters.

posted by Ali @ 4:02 PM 0 Comments

The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 weird habits of yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a Blog entry about their 5 weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. When I shower I have to do everything in the same order, shampoo, face wash, body wash, rinse it all off...
2. I can't have more than a glass of wine without falling asleep... Which is why I don't have much when I'm out...
3. I always have to fluff my pillows before I go to bed and position them just right, 2 to sleep on, one to curl up with and one against my back...
4. I don't like beer, so when I have one I drink it slowly and then set it down and conveniently 'forget it'... Anyone asks I misplaced it or finished it....
5. I talk to animals like they're people... My dog was my best friend and greatest secret keeper before she died a few years ago....

I tag Lav, Chuck, elise, KP, and Kyla...

posted by Ali @ 7:23 PM 0 Comments

I had some weird ass dreams last night… Dreams I only kinda sorta remember… I love when that happens cuz then I piece em all together and it sounds like one big messed up dream… And I sound like I’m on crack when I talk about it…. More so than usual… Maybe it has something to do with the fact I had a salad at like 3 this morning? I don’t know… But when I eat right before I go to bed I usually have some pretty off dreams… This one involved JC Chasez… Of Mickey Mouse Club/NSYNC fame… And a couple of oriental chicks that I think were NASCAR drivers… It was odd… So I’m walking through one of those semi round theaters and there are like 4 mike stands set up a couple hundred feet apart… And JC’s singing at one as I walk in… And after he finished the 2 oriental chicks that I thought were NASCAR drivers (they had on those suit thingys that drivers wear while racing) and start belting out a song… Both songs were Christmas tunes… And if that’s not weird enough for you… Once the oriental chicks stepped back, Kasey Kahne got up and sang…. then Jimmie Johnson did… And then Tony Stewart got up and sang (no idea how he really sings but he had a very nice baritone in my dream)… Then Jr got up… I don’t think I’ve ever mentally cringed so much in a dream before… The way he talked was the way he sang… Which normally isn’t that bad for most people… They just talk rhythmically. But Jr… Poor thing… Kept hitting all the wrong notes… I woke up weirded out but kind of chuckling… So yeah I’m thinking no more eating before bed… But if they’re all this entertaining and off the wall maybe I should… :0)
In other news… My space unit that I turned in on Wednesday that I spent most of the last month working on (even though I got the assignment at the beginning of the semester)… I GOT AN A ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A freaking A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 94 out of 100 to be precise… I have never been so damned jazzed… And it gave my grade the boost it needed to go from a C to a B… Then I turned in the final and got a C… Now I just have my notebook for observing tomorrow afternoon after I observe a math lesson in the morning and turn it in for her and I am done with her class. I have to show up a 1 on Tuesday for Dr B’s class and get my final grade there… Start defrosting my fridge and packing… Wednesday, pack and pack some more… Then Wednesday night I have that damn graduation ceremony I still don’t want to go to… Then make sure all my packing is done and then leave Thursday morning… Get home about 5 or 6 Thursday… Friday rest and relax… Maybe unpack some…Friday night either hang out with the boys or go see Boland…. Saturday unpack some… I need to get my Christmas shopping done too… Saturday night is Ryan Turner and Wade Bowen at the Firehouse… My first official night out/welcome home/belated birthday/graduation party too… Maybe I’ll get lucky (in more ways than one ;0) )and Matt Powell will do a song or 2… And good news in the guy department… I’m not nearly as into musicians as I used to be… Whoo hoo… Bad news… I invited a shitload of hotties AND an ex or 2 AND brown bagger and his hot friend to the firehouse Saturday… So if they somehow ALL show up… Ali might have some ‘splainin’ to do… But if brown bagger’s hot friend shows up… All bets are off. Sorry, that’s just the way it is. I’ve thought about that boy enough and all the yummy things I’d like to do to him to let him get away again… Funny guy thing… A friend of mine and I were talking about brown baggers in general… and I was like he has really pretty eyes so if I could just cover up his face and leave his eyes exposed, we’d be good to go… She’s like get a ski mask with no opening for the mouth… And he can go rob a store later… I laughed my ass off at that one… yeah that’s about it for me now… laters…

posted by Ali @ 12:02 AM 0 Comments

Ok, so here's something I posted a few weeks ago... Except I've added some more stuff my 'list' and I've checked it twice... ;0) But yeah, someone asked me about what I looked for in a man so I figured I'd repost the edited version of my 'list' of characteristics.... So here is it:
So Sean told me I should make a list… A list of qualities and characteristics I like in a guy… He says I’m either too picky or not picky enough in a lot of cases… I need to find some happy medium… And I agree… He said I shouldn’t try to think of any one person that I’m into otherwise my list would be a bit biased… Also right… I have to hand it to him, he does do good ideas on occasion… And after an all nighter of playing San Andreas, that really impresses me… He was bouncing ideas off me for when Lori comes back from Cali later this week…. He’s got some really good, really romantic ideas… If I didn’t think of him as a brother and he wasn’t engaged…. Yeah… :0) So my list… Its really hard not to think of any particular person… Its like I want to take bits and pieces of different people I know and put em into this one perfect man… Very Frankenstein-like… So lets go shall we…
First and foremost he’s got to have a sense of humor… I’m amused by pretty much anyone and everyone in some way so that’s not too difficult… Someone who’s a bit of a smart ass, like Kevin… But knows when he’s gone too far… One who can be my friend and my man at the same time… Someone who is respectful of me and women in general… A gentleman or a nice guy, if you will… Like Ev or W…. Someone who’ll open doors… Also someone who can be romantic… A girl likes hearts and flowers and all that good jazz… Someone who can give good back rubs would be a bonus… Someone with a passion for music, since it’s a huge part of my life and who I am… A guy who likes to cuddle but isn’t clingy…. Someone honest, sincere, and trustworthy…. Someone who respects my uniqueness… Also unmarried, uninvolved, and not gay are kind of givens…. At least for me… Also someone whose not into drugs, or is an alkie (though alcohol in moderation is okay)… Which brings up the age thing a lil… He also has to be old enough to drink legally… I’m very Mrs. Robinson like here lately so yeah…. Someone who is goal oriented and has ambition in life and is actively pursuing his dreams… Someone who is intelligent, and responsible and not afraid to get down and dirty…. In all ways… ;0) Someone who is successful, ambitious but not a workaholic, has goals in life, financially stable, not living with his parents, not gay or have a girlfriend/wife, keeps in shape, likes kids and animals, gets along with his family, respectful, and sweet. Also I’d like to find a guy not afraid to be the ‘man’ in the relationship but respects the fact I have a life apart from him, I did before I met him and I will continue to. Someone I can trust, respect, and who can communicate well
Physically… I have a weakness for blue eyes, but its not that big a deal… Matthew McConeghey’s body, eyes and dimples would be nice but unlikely… I really like all guys physically… Short, stocky types, tall, skinny ones…. (though I think its nice when a guy is taller than me (and I'm 5'5" so its not hard to do)and not a bodybuilder but not Chris Farley either)Blond, brunette… blue eyes, brown or green…. I like all types of guys.. The preppy ones… The artsy/alterno/musician types…. Surfers and other extreme boys (skaters, etc…) … I do have a weakness for cowboys I have to admit… Lately I’ve had a thing for guys in suits and ties (stuffed shirts as the guys and I used to call em)…. The physical stuff isn’t really as important as all that other stuff, but there has to be some sort of physical attraction…
That’s quite the list… And I tried not to think of any one particular guy but that’s hard…. So yeah with all those requirements, will Ali find Mr. Right? Or better yet, if she does, will she have the nerve to get and hold him? That’s still to come on As Ali’s Life Turns… :0)
So after writing all this I got to thinking... I've started to notice ways I'm changing... In good ways... And I've started thinking about what the old (teenage/21 year old) me would think of the current me... I think she'd consider me somewhat of a fuddy duddy... I rarely go out anymore (that could just be being stuck in Arkansas we'll see in a few weeks how much I go out) and I hardly ever get drunk, and I don't constantly feel the need to be the center of attention... Most times I'm happy just standing on the sidelines now... But I think she'd like me... She'd probably say something like, "I guess your mom and the guys have been a very good influence on us..." Because I'm still silly, have bad ADD, and I'm crazy like she was but I'm more focused and responsible and I feel more and more 'grown up' than I ever did before... I still feel like a kid at heart (I probably always will) but the rest of me has done some very much needed growing up... And I'm continuing to... I need to, I'm 27 years old, I shouldn't be acting like an immature college freshman anymore... I have more adult needs now... Bills, getting a job, maybe getting into a long term relationship that sort of thing.... I used to think that being old enough to drink made me an adult... Nope, its far more than that.... Yeah enough with the introspection.... Time to watch a movie and then think about going to bed.... (another thing the old me would probably scorn -staying home on a friday night) Laters.

posted by Ali @ 10:51 PM 0 Comments

I’ve been thinking a lot of about the fact I’m actually graduating next week… I only have like 3 or 4 things to finish/do before I graduate… One more observation, finishing a take home test, showing up Tuesday at 1 for Dr B and that mandatory graduation thing Thursday. Plus packing to go home… I had my last class yesterday… I think that’s what brought this on… My last college class… Kinda overwhelming… Its looking more like that will be on Thursday morning, rather than Friday…. And I turned 27 this week so I’m thinking more about life and the future… I’m proud of myself, and I feel like celebrating… Yet I’m sad that one chapter of my life is coming to a close… A chapter I’ve worked long and hard to complete. I just feel like crying… Out of sadness, happiness, relief, anxiety… I’m just overcome with emotion pretty much… And I don’t know what to do with all of it… It may just be one of those times I just need to cry… But I hate to… I get all red and puffy and my eyes turn red and burn, and I get a headache and my chest hurts afterwards and I’m all stuffy… Not fun at all… But I may just need the release that a good cry can provide… Cuz I’ve just got all this stuff inside me that blogging about just won’t let me express the way I want to. After my hall meeting tonight I may watch Beaches (my need to cry movie)… But then I told Ms Haynes I’d be at Westside at 9 am… I just hope the roads aren’t icy… Darnit…
Other junk… It snowed last night… For a couple of hours… And today there was still a couple of inches on the ground… Then theres supposed to be an artic cold front coming through tonight…. And all I have to warm my room is a space heater… and whatever layers I throw on… So I’m in long sleeves, my sweatshirt jacket, jeans and hiking socks… And when I sit on my bed I throw my afgan over my legs… And even then I’m still cold, dammit… Its redicufuckingless… And I think I just made up another new word… Ah well…
I’ve somehow had time today to think about men… I slept till like 11 and I got up when I heard Jon in the hall talking about his goal of seeing every girl on this hall naked… That’s one way to make me laugh in the morning… :0) Then I worked on my take home final for Dr Lynda and my observations for her… I read some and played on the internet and then I finally took a shower… The only time I’ve truly been warm today was taking a hot shower…. You know that tingly feeling you get when even lukewarm water hits parts that are cold? That was like my whole damn body… So yeah I got like a third of the take home done and I’m just lacking one observation which I’m doing in the morning and I’m done with Dr Lynda’s class…. I just have to show up at the finals time on Tuesday for Dr Betty and I’m done with her class… Then that damn mandatory graduation thing Wednesday night… Wilma emailed me and asked me to RSVP… I’m like you’re an idiot I told you I didn’t want to go but you said it was mandatory so of course I’ll be there… Didn’t say that… But I did gently remind her that since it was the middle of the week and a long distance from home for me, that I would be the only one in attendance… Then I went to dinner in the caf for the first time this week… People acted impressed to see me… I didn’t think I’d been anti social, just busy… Not this weekend though… I’m going to try to finish the take home tomorrow or Monday, finish the observations tomorrow and take the weekend off. Why? Because I’ve worked the last 3 weekends… Last weekend like a freaking maniac on that unit… Ugh… I am so glad that’s done and turned in…
But back to the me thinking about men thing… So I was thinking about this guy that wanted my email (one of those internet sites like myspace or something) and stuff… I got to thinking he’s the type of guy I should be dating… Don’t know if I’ll date him or not but his type is my type… Does that make sense? It does to me… Don’t get me wrong I still love all men… And I may always be a lil boy crazy, but I think I’m settling into more of a defined version of what I want in a man… Kinda cool…Yeah that’s about it… laters.

posted by Ali @ 10:53 PM 0 Comments

I'm fairly certain this has been my most boring birthday ever... And the hardest I've worked on a birthday... And the most stressed I've been on a birthday... BUT... I FINISHED MY UNIT!!!!! Probably a good thing since its due tommorrow (hence the reason I had to finish it today)... I spent most of the afternoon getting everything togather and starting on the lesson plans.... Ok, so it was like from 4 - 5 ish I did that... I was out at Westside from 1- 2... Watched Dr Phil.... Got birthday cards from Mom (2 from her, one with $$$), Aunt Pam, and Melly.... Plus my car insurance bill and my Netflix movies... So if it does snow tommorrow I have food, books and magazines I haven't read, Dr Pepper and movies to keep me entertained... Plus I have to type up 8 pages worth of stuff for my observations (also due tommorrow but I'm turning in Friday). Anyway so I went out to dinner (ie picked up dinner at the BBQ place - not bad but not Luthur's either) and came back... Ate, worked on my unit some more... Stopped to watch Gilmore Girls which turned out to be a rerun... ah well... Back to work about 8:30.... Queer Eye was new... For some reason that made me jump up and down like a lil kid.... Still working.... Took a break about 10, ate some chocolate cake (ie 'birthday' cake) and went back to work... I finished about half an hour ago.... I think I got everything she wanted... If not, I don't know if I could add it at this point in time, cuz I'm really burned out on Space and 4th grade....
Anyway so I woke up at like 730 to my phone ringing.... Aunt Pam called, but I was dead to the world so I missed it.... The guys called at 9 (all of em but Tommy) and serenaded me with Happy Birthday... Then mom called about 10 and her entire class sang happy birthday to me... Then I got a shit load of texts, messages on GW, myspace, facebook and emails too.... Then Mom called me again at 10 ish.... She was like I just had your birthday dinner and it was wonderful.... Turns out she went out to eat with Willie.... Some french restaurant.... She's such a goose... Turns out Natalie is having a graduation/baby party this weekend at Carrabas, same night as Nicole's bday party, which I'm also missing... Plus Jody Booth's playing that weekend.... Talked to linz too.... Jennie started singing happy birthday in the background... Such talent in the Alpha Chi house... :0)
But the majority of my stress if gone... I only have a take home and those observations left for Dr Lynda and I am DONE with college.... My back is killing me.... I hope Mom got the hint about wanting a massage for a birthday/christmas/graduation present... If not, I'll just bite the bullet and pay for it myself... I need one that bad.... So on top of the stress I've had over that project that due tommorrow I've also had to deal with family stress... the crazy aunt that mom, La and Linz and I haven't spoken to since I don't know when, called me twice today... Both times I couldnt get to the phone (first time I was asleep, 2nd time I was in the bathroom)... She left me long rambling messages and I'm not sure if I should call her back.... Mom and Linz both said it was up to me... We'll see.... I've got so much stuff on my plate, I don't know if I have time, patience or the inclination to deal with her shit right now.... How bad is it I want to go to bed already? lol.... I think I'll just go read for a bit.... laters....

posted by Ali @ 11:18 PM 0 Comments

Drama, drama, drama…. You’d think staying home on a Saturday night and making cookies would be peaceful wouldn’t ya? For the most part it was… Until Lucky came down to my room (she was bored and hyper since she was waiting on Chris to get back from a road trip) bout 11 or so… We were talking and stuff and then about midnight we went out on the front porch for a cigerette… Neither one of us realized what time it was when we came in at almost 1 am… And that’s when the fun really began… So I didn’t go to the formal last night (I wasn’t in the mood so I watched movies instead) and I didn’t even think about going to the party last night either… Oh, my God… We were in my room when Cayenne came running down the hall crying and then she went in her room and slammed the door… Now if you don’t know her, Cayenne doesn’t slam doors intentionally, she’s one of those people its hard to upset… Then Sean comes down and is banging on her door, paler than usual and tears running down his cheeks… We’re like what the hell is going on? Sean leaves after a few minutes and Jess knocks on Cayenne’s door but she won’t open and we can hear her crying… She’s drunk as a skunk… It turns out that she had kissed some other guy at the party after flirting with like every guy there… Sean had seen her flirting but after she kissed the other guy she came back and TOLD Sean what she’d done… O, my… He’s like B and the guys, really hard to piss off or upset, real laid back and when he is…. You know something’s up… So yeah we all saw he was clutching his hand and Torie said it was all swollen and funny colors… Turns out he had punched the hell out of a wooden fence… So we’re all wondering where Sean has gone… Rose, Torie, Jon, Amanda, Jess and I all go out on the front porch to discuss everything that’s happened… Greg and Jeff show up and we discuss some more… Finally Greg, Jeff and Jess take off to look for Sean and everyone else goes in… A little while later, Sean’s knocking on Cayenne’s door and Amanda and Torie and I were all trying to be sneaky about trying to hear what he said and she said… A minute later she let him in and we all look at each other and shrug… Greg comes down and knocks on the door to make sure he’s ok… I went to bed after that since it was almost 3 am… And I have no idea whats happened since but its just all craziness…
In other news… Not so drama filled of course… I talked to mom yesterday about the graduation ceremony thing… She acted like I was inviting her up here and feeling all bad about not being able to come… Its one of her last days of school before Christmas break, so she doesn’t want to take it off…. I told her straight up, I didn’t want to go myself but it was mandatory… I told her I had plans to pack already but she said whats 2 hours out of it in the long run and she, like Wilma doesn’t want me having any regrets… Again, how can I regret something I hadn’t planned for in the first place? But yeah that got me to thinking… If she did come up here, she could help me drive home… Then I got to thinking about how I could pack my car to accommodate another person… Honestly I don’t know if I’d have room… But it’d be fun to try… Ah well… Last night I found 2 really cool things at Movie Gallery... One was the Chipmunk Christmas movie (which I bought) and a Dale Jr 3-D poster for like 6 dollars... (which I didn't buy but it was kinda cool looking) I’ve been working on my unit on and off all weekend and now I have to do some more… Laters…

posted by Ali @ 6:19 PM 0 Comments

So its 9:30 on a freezing cold Friday night.... If I were home I would probably be at whatever show I had decided to go to tonight... No idea whose playing but thats what I would probably be doing... Or hanging out with the guys... My life at home is somewhat predictable but never boring... Here, I'm watching the NASCAR awards thingy from New York... I went to that Show Your Stuff 2 talent show thingy earlier but that was over by like 8:30.... My first unofficial music review will come here in a second.... So now I'm thinking I'm going to watch Madagascar... I watched Smile earlier and it made me cry... I had Pizza Pro for dinner and I observed for a few hours at Westside... Only like 12 hours left to do next week... Whoo hoo... I also have to do a couple of hours onmy birthday on Tuesday.... (3 more shopping days, what are you getting me? ;0) ) Double whoo hoo.... I don't mind observing, I love kids, which is why I want to teach, but having nothing to do for hours on end just drives me nuts... I took notes on stuff that happened today but I think I may have to take my notebook on Monday and take notes and be able to doodle... I have ADD I have to doodle or something or I go NUTS... And sitting still for hours on end, not talking at all, yeah its trying.... and not interacting with the kids at all is just crazy.... They all stare at me and they look like they want to say something but their teacher has told them not to... argh.... I do sort of know their names though after one day, which is kinda cool....
My review of the show your stuff 2 thing.... I walked in during Andrew's comedy bit and I'm easily amused but the boy couldn't make me laugh... He hit on all the wrong subjects for me to be able to laugh... Gays, the military, but the basic girl/guy observations that are almost common sensical made me giggle a lil since I don't really think about them anymore... (you know girls talk alot more than guys, etc....) Then there were the 2 guys doing a song... One played acoustic guitar and the other played violin... The violin guy was off and the guy singing and playing guitar could barely do either.... Then Shala did a song that I thought sounded pretty nice... Very Jewel/Sheryl Crow sounding.... Not bad at all... I think I'm missing one but then there was the ending... A band called Affectus (I think I spelled that right)... I know at least one of the guys in the band go to school here and I have to admit I did dig their stuff... It was a bit rough sounding, but with a bit more experience they could be phenomonal... The crowd wasn't digging their stuff at first but after the 3rd song (a cover of when doves cry) demanded an encore... The lead singer had a fabulous stage presence. He moved around and acted like he owned it. Not bad at all... He did do a few Justin-esque (Justin Furstenfeld) moves... It could have been just me since I know he's influenced by Blue October.... The lead guitarist was awesome... I haven't heard guitar played like that in a while...
School stuff.... I got an email back from Wilma (the registrar) that said I didn't have to walk the stage... She told me that she knew this was a big accomplishment for me and that she didn't want me to look back later in life and have any regrets about my graduation... How can I regret something I wasn't planning for in the first place? I didn't want to walk the stage when I was supposed to graduate last year either... I don't know what I would have done if Mamamaw hadn't have died (that sounds back I know) .... It provided me the perfect excuse without lying so I could go to La's graduation from TCU.... Now I have another ceremony for her when she gradautes from law school and one for Linz when she graduates from U of H.... She (Wilma) also mentioned something about it was up to me about inviting my family and friends... Um yeah... Thats all in Texas and none of them can take off in the middle of the damn week to make the trip, sorry. So it looks as if I'm stuck going to this damn thing I don't care about where 28 other people are graduating (of whom I know like 2).... Which probably means I won't get to leave till Friday and miss Boland at the Firehouse Friday night... Dammit. That was going to be my big birthday/graduation party.... Yet another reason I'm a bit bitter about this place....
So I'm taking tonight off of doing homework.... Since I'll spend most of my weekend so working on my unit on space, my observations from today and making sure my notebook for Dr Betty's in order... So I'm going to go watch Madagascar now.... And then sleep as late as I want tomorrow, work on homework and go to the Formal... I have the dress, the shoes match, kinda and I may have to go to Walmart to restock on some makeup but I'm ready.... yeah so if i dont stop now I'll keep babbling... so yeah... laters....

posted by Ali @ 9:33 PM 0 Comments

I may be forced to do something I hate having to do. Actually a couple of things… I hate ceremonies of any sort… I also hate feeling as though I have to prove or validate myself by someone else’s standards other than my own or those of my family. I got an email on my school address from the registrar of the school (whom I’ve gotten to know really real thanks to my soap opera like drama of coming back). It says something about a reception for December grads… And that she’d like everyone to RSVP by yesterday at noon… I shrugged it off, since I’m not planning on going cuz I have no family here and I don’t feel like I need to have a celebration for graduating… At least not here where no one I care about is… Once I get home of course I plan to party with my friends all over town till after freaking New Years… And job hunt of course… And start looking for a place of my own… But I don’t feel like I have to prove myself anymore than I already have. By being here and by working my ass off to prove that I want to be here and I want to finish my degree… Anyway back to the email… So I get another one that says it’s a mandatory thing for all December grads… And to RSVP… Wha?? Why would I RSVP if its mandatory? But that aside this email says its been moved from being a reception for grads to a full out walking across a stage, punch and cookies hoop la… WTF?!?! So I emailed Wilma (the registrar) back and asked if I just showed up without walking the stage if that was ok… I’m waiting on an answer to that… I don’t care about going and I really don’t care to put a robe on and make nice with people I never have to see again and I REALLY don’t care about walking a damn stage to satisfy THEIR need to stand on ceremony or whatever other reason they feel it needs to be made mandatory. If they have to make it a mandatory thing, doesn’t that tell them something? PEOPLE DON’T CARE… At least not about their damn pomp and circumstance. So I’m hoping that since I do have to go, that I can just say hi, drink some punch (hopefully not that shitty sherbet stuff) and make a quick get away… If they try to make me put a robe on and walk the stage, I really don’t know what I’ll do… I keep having flashes of almost falling on my face at my high school graduation and theres no way in hell I want a repeat of that… So I’ll admit to a bit of fear of falling part of the reason for not wanting to do it but mostly because I don’t want to or feel the need to participate in a ceremony meant to make me feel as though my life is more complete by receiving my degree (which it is but I want to get on with my life, I’ve been ready to for quite a while) or like there’s closure on this part of my life… I don’t need closure, this whole semester has been closure… At this point my plan is to pack up Wednesday and leave Thursday… But I have to figure out how to get proof that I’ve graduated (ie my grades from professors) for mom… Very elementary but very needed after the rigmarole of getting my grades last time… anyway that rant is over… on to other things…So I saw that movie 3 the other day… About Dale Earnhardt… And I realized a couple of things… I didn’t think I’d ever really heard about NASCAR until he died but in truth, I grew up hearing about him and Mario Andretti and comparing the way people drove to Andretti… Kinda cool I thought, especially since I’m from a city without much in the way of car racing… And the kid they got to play Dale Jr looks amazingly like him (red/blond hair and blue eyes) and sounds amazingly like him… Turns out he was a racer too that Barry Pepper had found at a racing school he’d trained at… That was kind of cool… I felt bad for Earnhardt Sr though most of the movie… His dad was a tough guy, which made him a tough guy and made me feel bad for his kids… I was amazed that they even got the kind of music that Jr likes in there… (just one scene but that’s one of those things I notice…) I was like crying at the end… And I don’t do that a lot… anyway so I’m feeling a bit stressed at the moment… I have almost everything due by next Wednesday… My unit on Space, my 15 hours of observation (which I’m going to try to turn in on Friday instead since I still won’t be done), and whatever other stuff Dr Betty wants to assign for functional assessment and the notebook for the semester… So much to do… I’m pretty much spending the weekend working on all of it and my birthday too… Since it is the day before Wednesday (wink wink nudge nudge) and all… so yeah I think this is long enough and I have to go do some work… laters…

posted by Ali @ 3:38 PM 0 Comments