Monday, November 28, 2005

Ever had a lil voice in your head telling you that you can do, when you’re not sure you can go on or even want to try to do it in the first place? Its amazing to me that that lil voice in my head sounds a lot like a certain ex Marine, that I wanted to hook up with last summer… Its weird cuz we knew each other really casually (pretty much through Wade) so why is it HIS voice I hear? Like all semester long he’s been like a lil bird on my shoulder, telling me I can do it and I can do it well…. That things will be ok, when I’m not so sure myself… If I was a suspicious person I may think it means something… Heck maybe it does, I don’t know… All I know is that when I was scared out of my head last night driving that last 20 miles in pouring down rain, his voice was the one I heard kind of coaching me through, sort of like a guardian angel… Who knows if I’ll ever see him again, but I can’t even begin to express my gratefulness (if its not a real word it is now…) for his influence and motivation… Strange how someone you know briefly can have such an impact on you… When I first met him I didn’t think beyond the hooking up with him…. Let alone that he would be like my conscience/guardian angel… Weird but sort of cool… If I ever do see him again I may have to thank him for that… He’ll probably think I’m insane but most everyone does and I’m still alive… Then I’ll proposition him…. :0)
So I got back to Arkansas last night… I left Houston at like 645 in the morning… Made a million lil stops to try to stay awake and alert… About 20 or 30 miles away (outside Russellville) it starts raining… Just a lil at first… Then its pouring… All the way back… Sometimes I couldn’t even see the road but I fought through my fear and I did it dammit. I got back to Clarksvegas about 5…
I was mostly unpacked and in bed shortly after 11…. Only the 2nd time I’ve done that in a week (shocking I know…). Went to class this morning and Walmart this afternoon to get some basics… Including the stuff for Christmas cookies and my Christmas Kisses… I also realized I forgot to write about my Friday… Not much happened but it was sort of my birthday/going away (since I was supposed to leave Saturday though I didn’t because of the rain) day so I figured what the heck… So Mom woke me up at 9 and tried to convince me to go to the resale shop with her, I declined since I hadn’t showered yet… So I got up and she left… I got ready and she came home and we went out to lunch at Pei Wei… She went to Half Price with me and I got 20 dollars for a bunch of books… Then I dropped her off and she gave me 100 dollars for my birthday… I went to Cactus and I could only find 2 CDs I wanted (shocking I know) Ray Lamontagne and the new Honeybrowne…. Both are pretty darn good… Then I went to Borders and got some books and a couple of my Lindt chocolates… I got home and Mom and John took me out to eat at the Pappas Seafood House… We declared it my unofficial going away restaurant since we went there before I went back to school in August too… We got back to the house about 9 and visited…. John left and mom went to bed about 10… I made it till about 11 and then crashed till my alarm went off at 5 am… I’m just too exciting for words I tell ya… :0) Anyway Oprah’s on… Laters…

posted by Ali @ 4:34 PM

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