Not Your Average Jane

Ok I wrote this when I got home at like 2 am Saturday night/Sunday morning....

I so don’t know what to do…. I think I’m over the cutie, I know I’m over the hottie RA… He’s still hot but once you hook up with another chick… Yeah… Actaully in the cutie’s case… I’ve started to realize he’s not that hot… and he started making out with some random chick and they were both relatively sober… So yeah…. But I do have another problem… I’ve asked everyone what to do but no one seems to be able to provide any good advice… The hot boy… Oh my… The hot boy… The things I could do to that boy… If only I could string together a sentence around him… Dammit… Now at least one person (up here) whose not a good keeper of secrets knows I have a thing for him… I had had a few drinks and I asked where he was, turns out he’d gone home… I told Jon I couldn’t make out with anyone cuz 2 of the guys I wanted had left… And then I told him about the hot boy… He didn’t really say much… He was really really tired poor thing… So I don’t know if he’ll even remember it… I almost hope he does… Is that horrible of me? To hope that someone else will take care of it for me? I know I shouldn’t and that’s not the way the way things should be but it would make life so much easier… I wanted to make out tonight… And I really would have liked it to be with the hot boy…. The only play I got was a couple of kisses from Ash… No tongue or anything just like lil smacks is all… Anyway I don’t know what to think about the hot boy… Well I do… But I don’t all at the same time… It sucks…
I don’t know if his feelings are hurt about me turning him down… I was totally kidding I don’t know if he knows that… I want to tell him that but I don’t know how to bring it up or even if I should… Hence my confusion… And it sucks…
I have an idea of what I can do… But tonight he left too soon for me to start enacting it… Dammit… But I can start it tomorrow night… Maybe… If he shows up at smokers circle… He should but theres no guarantee…. Since he’s not a smoker…. And he’s usually so silent out there too… I don’t know why… Its not like he doesn’t have anything to say… I’ve heard him make some very intelligent conversation before (the whole monkeys and evolution one after which I shot him down and things haven’t really been the same since… and I think he has a thing for Mary whose dating Dane but may possibly be breaking up with Dane again?)… So yeah Smokers circle I’m gonna start doing what I should have done and NOT listened to Rach to form my first impressions of him… I know better than most that rumors aren’t usually true… And I’ve tried to never be prejudice about people… I like to form my own opinions before judging people…. In this case for some reason I let her influence my thinking… I don’t know why…
I can’t think anymore… I’m going to bed…

and I wrote this today..... any similarities or copying you'll have to forgive cuz I didn't remember what I wrote...

Its probably not a good idea to dis Tom on his own site… I’ve come to that conclusion… Not a lot of thought required… Whereas typing seems to be requiring a lot of that… So yeah Stu and JD aren’t the only ones that get annoyed when it goes down… Unlike other things that could be good going down…. O my… bad bad Ali…. :0) OOOO, Jack Johnson’s on… Sweet… Sorry ADD’s kicking in… I’m surprised it hasn’t before now… This particular play lists rocks… Most of my punk and acoustic stuff is on it… Plus some Tool and Trapt…. For some reason though its not playing some of it weird… I was told I need to check out my chemical romance too… I’ll put that on my long ass to check out list… Right now its about as long as my arm… From Josh Owens whom my brother recommended and he also suggested Harley Dean… I think he also tried to hook me up but that’s another story… 20’s not too young for me but the baby face isn’t my style… I just can’t molest a guy who looks 10… Sorry… Theres Paul Eason and Rex Robards and the guys told me I need to look at Hawthorne Heights too… Argh… So many bands so lil time…
So yeah, time for the brilliance that is me…. I have discovered that if I put my self in the shoes of one of the guys I’m into, I can kinda predict his reaction…. Very cool feeling… I discovered that just sitting on the front porch tonight… I was right and knowing that is fucking awesome… How often am I right about guys I dig? A handful of times… Guys I’m not into I can tell ya what they’ll do in any given situation but when I like em my instincts are somewhat… skewed to say the least….
So I should be working on that paper for tomorrow but instead I blog and hang out on the front porch… But I hung out with a couple of guys I dig… Not long enough for me… But then what is? I also began enacting my evil plan to get a guy I want… I’m soo damn bad… Ooo Jimmy Eats World… Nice… I love having ADD…. And Jimmy Eats World is awesome… Praise Chorus is currently on… Nice… So my weekend… I got a couple of DDs from Fall Fandango… I got to hear Randy Rogers singing Hill Country, and a couple of Pat Green songs… Not the same as being there but it’ll do for now… So about 10:45 last night a bunch of people meet up in Rose and Krissy’s room (including a couple of guys I’m into, SWEET!) and go to India and D’s for a party… They had this killa punch… It was like fruit punch, vodka, and pineapple juice combined… I had a glass and I didn’t even get a good buzz going… Ah, well… I still harassed and molested boys…. That’s the important part… :0) And one or 2 I even have a thing for… There was dancing and drinking and people making out with people… Girls with girls, girls with guys…. All I got was a kiss from Ash… (closed mouth, get your minds outta the gutter) I was talking to Jon outside at one point and I was like I wanna make out with someone and you’re too young for me and 2 guys I want to with left and one’s in the parking lot making out with another girl… That’s right… In the parking lot, making out with another girl… I didn’t move fast enough… Oh, well I’ll live and I couldn’t have felt much for him any cuz when I saw it I was like oh ok.… Needless to say my thing for him is finished…. Anyway so Jon asked me who the guys were that left and I told him… Now if he remembers I’ll be amazed cuz he wasn’t drunk he was just sooo tired he was acting drunk… I think he said he’d had like 6 hours of sleep in the last 3 days…. Whatever it was it wasn’t a lot… So yeah I got back to my room a lil before 2…. Woke up at about noon…. Mom had called and so had matt… text him back and got a phone call… I didn’t realize it wasn’t him but Josh Owens I was talking to for a minute or two… Talked to Matt for a few… Ate lunch, sorta… Watched crash…. Hung out with Rose and Krissy… Ate dinner at Subway… Talked to mom…. She told me all about Barbara’s funeral…. She was tired but she’s off work tomorrow… Lucky her… Found out my sis got back together with her boyfriend… And she’s already started to study for finals… Damn…. Now I really feel like a slacker having not even gotten to midterm…. Went to Smoker’s circle and found out Rose had to go to the hospital cuz of her pancreas… All that stuff with the hot boy… It was good… And now Praise Chorus is on again… Weird… I didn’t know it was on here twice… Ah well… It’s a good song… That’s really it for now… laters….

posted by Ali @ 1:02 AM