Why does he keep doing this to me? I go monthes without seeing him, talking to him, though I admit to thinking about him every now and then.... Then boom outta the blue he calls me and has me all worried about him and shit.... UGH!!!!! I'm over him but he wants me back... He doesn't even lie about the drugs and other chicks anymore... Is it better to have the knowledge and not be involved with him? Hell yes. Is my heart still hurting because of him, no not anymore... I've moved on with life and he seems to be stuck in the same old rut I left him in... Its a sad state of affairs....
Why am I worried? Simply because I could tell he was tripping on something... No idea what but even at his worse he NEVER spoke to me the way he did tonight.... Which was why I hung up on him after telling him to speak civilly to me or not to speak to me at all... I'm so proud of me....
Turns out he called W (who I called a lil while ago which is how I know he called him) and bitched about me... Geez.... W and I were talking and we're both concerned about him... We're afraid he's gonna hit rock bottom before he quits the shit he's doing.... And that scares me because I know what an awesome person he is and what an amazing spirit he possesses when he's not on something... He's so ambitious that I'm afraid he may loose out on his dream because of the drugs... But as W pointed out.... That may have to happen to get him to straighten up and fly right.... He also pointed out a lot of the people in the biz have drug problems of one sort or another and are still successful.... So who really knows at this point....
Ok thats enough with the ex.... He only brings me down and I refuse to go there again.... I did get to thinking about that guy who wants a bad girl... I wonder if he really wants one or if he's just saying he does to appear more macho? Hmm.... Or am I just trying to make things up so I have the confidence to make a play? Very interesting.... Actually from just looking at him I don't think he could handle a really 'bad' girl if she did come along.... I think she'd scare him... Hell I'd prolly scare him if he knew me any better.... lol...
Also this guy who I met last week, reintroduced himself to me... I found it rather humorous since I thought I didn't look that different with the red hair... But he didn't just reintroduce himself he did it in a flirty way.... And the boy is nicht so attractive in the least... But I think he thinks he's bad ass cuz of his ride or cuz he has long hair or maybe cuz he can grow a beard and I can't...... And that's extremely humorous.... And its not just I'm easily amused either...
dear lord.... evan looks a bit like the ex... well... maybe just a few superficial things... he's not fat (stocky, big boned whatever he wants to call it he's still overweight... b2 not evan...) Ok now that I consider it a lil more they aren't so much... Aside from the fact they both have dark hair and facial hair and are both just taller than me and both are very hard working and from Dallas... And as far as I know Evan isn't a musician... Thank God.... Ok enough with that....
Also I had to change my comment options to keep the spammers away, so you have to do a word verification in order to leave a comment... Sorry if its inconvienent but spammers annoy me...
enough with this I need to finish my laundry.... laters.
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