Wednesday, September 28, 2005

So I got to thinking earlier… I miss Matt…. Then I started thinking I missed him yeah but what I really missed was how he was always telling me I was pretty… I don’t really have that up here… I mean sure I can get it on the phone… But when some really hot guy looks at you (you being me in this case) in a certain way and says you’re beautiful… It makes ya wanna melt…. And that’s what I miss about Matt… Mainly… That and the fact from the first time we met, it was like we’d known each other forever… We had none of those your personal space my personal space issues…. Seriously, the first time I met him I hugged him hello, stood between his legs and leaned on his thigh, then later sat across the table from him and played footsie… Later that same night I was sitting next him, almost in his lap, his hand in my back pocket… For most people that’s nothing but for me it takes me a lil bit to build up to that… I guess the fact that Wade introduced us helped a bit…. The fact he’s an ex-Marine and because of Scott (an Ex- Marine and my best friend’s hubbie) I automatically trust any guy whose been or is one was probably a contributing factor too…. Seriously any Marine I’ve ever met I’d trust with my life…. They may be crazy but they’re loyal and they’ve got your back no matter what… I guess I really started thinking about him because lets face it, I spent most of my summer thinking about and/or hanging out with him and I still care about him, regardless of the distance factor… And the fact I haven’t talked to him in weeks… I guess talking to drunk Wade made me start thinking about him enough to write about him… Since he did introduce me to Matt… Ah well, there’s nothing about it I can do now… I don’t think Wade would be too big a help and frankly I don’t think I want to ask him after that convo the other night… I’m ashamed of him at the moment… Read yesterday’s entry if you want to figure out why…. Wade is brown bagger and Matt is his hot friend..... Just in case you didn't know....
Anyway I miss being complimented.... And being held... I know I'm cute and funny and smart, but I'd like to hear it every now and then ya know? Most people I know up here aren't very touchy feely.... And I am... So sue me... But I'm down to a dollar and some change so yeah, thats probably not a good idea... I mean its nice the way the boys compliment me on the phone, and friends on IM... But there's something about a face to face, Hey Ali, you're really pretty.... With a hug added would be nice.... Am I asking too much? I don't think so... Then why is it so hard to find up here? I'm clueless...
So Meg called me back today… We talked for like half an hour… Mostly about Charmed and Angel and Buffy…. Mistakes writers had made in Charmed… I told her about me being up and got to tell the whole story about why I’m here again… She tried to convince me to move to Dallas… I didn’t tell her the whole truth, just that the traffic there scares the crap out of me (she told me Houston traffic did the same to her)… But the rest of the truth… B2 and his fam are from there… Different part of town and I know I shouldn’t let him keep me from going anywhere I want to but also as much as I love Meg, I don’t know if I could live with her… I’m messy to an extent… She’s messy to the extreme…. So yeah, we talked about my plans to move back to Houston….
So I also got to thinking of a lil regret I had from my teenage years… I kinda wish I’d kept up with the horseback riding… But then I remember I could only find a place to ride English and not wanting to jump like they were trying to make me, plus there were too many strips, straps, bits and pieces to the equipment… Western is far more straight forward…. And if you freak you have a saddle horn… And quarter horses seem to react to even the slightest command better than thoroughbreds who are far too high strung, though not as highly as Arabians…. But God Arabians are beautiful…. So yeah I’ll probably have to just be content on the ground, petting the occasional equine face… Ok its now a lil after 1 am and I need to hit the hay…. 6 am comes awfully early…. Especially if you’re not a morning person like me… Laters.

posted by Ali @ 12:49 AM

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