Saturday, January 15, 2005

No matter how hot a guy is, you don't ever wanna pinch his butt with his girlfriend and/or mother standing right there....
Ali's advice for the day.... I took it too.... Pretty amazing I know... My song for the day? "HEY YOU" Jack Ingram.... Obvious reasons....
The crush.... lord he drives me nuts.... still... and amazingly enough I've had this crush since like before Christmas.... Though I didn't really realize how awesome a guy he is till around New Years... I think I'm goin for a record... I'm like a freaking schoolgirl I tell ya...
Work sucked and will suck 2morrow.... The guys were being assholes and I was being a bitch... So it all evened out... And on top of that some older guy walked by and had on Aramis.... Now for those that don't know me well, Aramis is my daddy's old cologne... Occasionally I spray a bit on a card at Foley's or whereever I am with men's cologne and sniff it fondly... He's been dead since 1990 but still that cologne makes me think of him... And I was so out of it (tired, hungry, overall UNPREPARED to be emotionally stressed....) when this guy with the same cologne as my father wore it just caught me off guard... I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach and I couldn't catch my breath.... I felt the tears coming so I went to lunch and talked to b and I was alot better.... thank God for good friends...
Sean and I watched 13 goin on 30 last night and then I fell asleep during the Blue DVD... Sean woke me up before he left at 1 and took me upstairs and tucked me in.... Arent my friends the greatest? reminds me I need to ask Gage a question about Justin... Sean said he looked all kinds of messed up (ie on drugs) and I'm curious if Gage knows since he was there.... And I've learned Sean is usually right when it comes to this sort of thing being an ex addict himself (4 years now from coke and x and almost 2 for pot).... Its corny but its true its amazing what the love of a good woman can do... His and Laurie's whole relationship has been a rollercoaster for the last 5 years ( I dated him at one of the times they were broken up, not smart on my part...). He gave up the drugs because he didn't want to risk losing her... One of her best friends in high school had ODed and so shes a lil sensitive about the drug thing... I can totally understand... anyway..... the songs right.... you always feel 17 in your hometown.... I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling like the scared, lil 17 punk ass kid playing at being grown up.... People think I have confidence out the ass.... ANY confidence I have has been hard won... Learning to love yourself is hard but its something you gotta do before you can love anyone else... How cliched does that sound? Buts its true... Speaking of which... Someone mentioned in passing what great looking kids me and my current crush would have.... No problems with confidence whatsoever.... what he didn't realize is that we're both totally insecure... That got my biological clock to quietly ticking... I'd love to get married and have kids... One day... First I have to get this whole relationship thing worked out... and get my life straightened out... If Mr Right happens to come along in the meantime it'd be nice but I'm not gonna get my hopes up... Anyway I'm gonna get ready to go and see if I feel like goin to Randy Rogers or not.... laters....

posted by Ali @ 8:49 PM

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