So Dora was off today... though I was told she was in the mall... She never came to see us, so that was sweet.... So yeah we all relaxed and did little to no work... It was pure greatness....
Time for the boy ramble... hehehe.... That weirdo Alan was upstairs during most of my breaks (I only took 2 but I made em count... :) ).... Brian was up there too for both or them.... as well as that other guy I used to have a crush on, whose name I can never pronounce right let alone spell.... It starts with a U and ends with like an e or something....
So yeah, some very INTERESTING conversations took place..... At one point in one of the many conversations, we were talking about our ideal mates... So Alan is describing his perfect idea of a woman.... Something about someone with down to earth, good at math (ie able to balance the family checkbook) and good looking, he finds glasses sexy... And he was looking right at me the whole damn time... I shrugged it off and faked like I was half asleep, not too hard to do since I was exsausted, still am as a matter of fact.... Then Brian asks me what my ideal guy is... and usually this is no trouble at all but I simply told him if I was looking (which I'm not cuz I have too many things on my plate right now to deal with a man... ) I told him all that and we never did get to him... Somehow we got into a discussion about bras and taking them off one handed.... The U guy made a good point.... When you're about to get lucky and you know it, the clothes come off pretty quick and most times the one handed thing is most rush than luck... I laughed and agreed....
But yeah I just realized something... I treat Alan the way most guys wanna be treated by hot chicks... Like I'm a bitch and I dont wanna talk to you.... I think hes nuts so I try to ignore him as much as possible but in his own lil deluded way he's thinking I could be into him maybe? I dont know... Thats just an ew ew ew ew ew ewwwww thought.... Alan is in no way attractive and considering I usually think almost every guy is hot THATS saying something.... Hes got that creepy older (hes in his 40s) could be a stalker, I think hes losing his damn mind (literally) and he likes to complain far too much... So yeah um, no..... um I dont think theres much else going on at the moment.... Rain, cold.... Ick.... But at least on Wednesday its supposed to clear up.... That rocks... :) and on Friday and Saturday its supposed to be sunny and cool, THAT i can deal with.... thats it for now... laters.....
So I can't decide whether to ramble, talk about boys, bitch about work or talk about my weekend... So I'll just do it all... :)
So I've worked Friday - today... And Dora's been there each and every fucking day. And every day I lose it with her... This is so unlike me... I'm turning into this person I'm not fond of... I'm tired all the time, stressed, short with people in general... Not customers or friends but I've started showing my coworkers my bitchy side... Thats not cool, they're good people stuck in a shitty ass job just like me. So I'm thinking the sooner I get out, the better... I missed so much with this job, not just shows or weekends... But my friends and my family, whom I hardly ever get to see it seems... Mom and the girls and Baby all want to do stuff on the weekends but I cant cuz I work most weekends... It sucks. Least I get this Friday and Saturday off... And then that next weekend and then hopefully right b4 GF I can tell em to take this job and shove it... I aint working here no more... You dont pay me enough to be treated so horribly... If Sean hadnt have shown up the other day when Dora pissed me off I might just have quit then and there.... Another one i owe him... (Put it on my tab, babydoll...) After today not going back seems like a really good idea.... It was so damn busy I barely had time for lunch (and yet another confrontation with Dora... - something about you cant take breaks on Sundays if you take half an hour lunch you must clock out... but you cannot until someone shows up at 4... Fuck you very much, bitch, I'm goin when I cant take it anymore (3 oclock - I tried to wait but when my blood sugar goes down I'm liable to hurt someone...). She paged me right as I was coming back to clock in... When she and Delia (another manager) were both in my area, completely able to deal with any customers we had... Then she got into with Cruz about some stuff he had on hold and then she got into with me (again) about some stuff that a coworker had bought and was keeping in the stockroom till she could get it.... I dont do confrontation... But I did it twice in one day... THATS NOT NORMAL AT ALL.... I would so like to smack some sense into her... She doesnt have to fear Steven (the store manager) or the 'visits' from the Dillards family, she does however have good reason to fear me and losing her job... Shes old, she prolly couldnt find another one that paid as well... Ok, enough work talk....
I shot out an email to Girl Scouts San Jack Council about how to get Girl Scout cookies... I also have a phone # I can call if I dont get an email back... Dammit, Gage, you made me crave them!!!!
Also Gage is a dork... He calls me on the way to College Station just to call me a puss, and tell me he has to take a shit... Now THATS love... hehehe.... (love ya too, Gageypoo...)
Also this weekend I hung out with Sean alot... Friday night, I made him watch Girl, Interupted and I lied and said it had lesbian action to get him to watch it.... Poor baby, we got to the end and hes like where were the lesbians? I laughed at him... We watched some movie he wanted to watch and he went home... Saturday night I call him on the way home from work and he comes over and we watch Riding Giants (surfer movie) and go to Krogers, where we run into a couple admiring my RK bumper sticker... We talked for a few, turns out they had gone to the Continental and said it was really crowded... Ah well I'll get to see em twice in a week in a couple of weeks I'm good to go... We get back to the house and watch Caberet and some other movie... Mom stayed over at Johns so Sean crashed here and left early this morning... I've missed sleeping with that boy, hes such a snuggle bunny... And yes all we did is sleep... We did the dating thing a while but it so felt weird... He's hot and sweet and funny but kissing him was like kissing my brother (if I had one....)... So yeah completely platonic....
ok i think thats enough stuff for now... I'll ramble about boys later... But yeah all I can say is I understand Linz's crush on Billie Joe Armstrong... and mine on Kenny Wayne Shepard.... *sigh* (MUSICIANS BAD!!!)
Laters....
WARNING - this ones a lil crazy.... Chalk it up to the lateness of the night.....
So earlier tonight I was saying how much I love my boobs and what they can get me.... And a lil while ago I'm getting ready for bed and I have a Sweetest Thing moment.... You know the scene where shes tryin on clothes in the movie montage and does the whole boobs at 22 and boobs now thing? Yeah I did it... And yeah theres a difference... and not nessacarily for the good... Its a great feeling finding out you have saggy boobs.... esp right b4 you go to bed....
IN OTHER NEWS...
I was thinking I was goin to see Reckless 2morrow...er 2night but I prolly wont since its someplace I've never been and I'm working today and 2morrow... and the next day.... I'm also not sure if I'm goin to Morelands show Saturday... I might just hang out with Sean or something.... I'll figure it out when I'm doing it I guess....
SPEAKING OF DOING IT....
Cruz was really surprised I dont have a current crush the other day... and I dont.... Not unless you include my ongoing Blue thing... hehehehe....
SHES BAAAAACK
Dora the explorer went Attila the Hun on me the other day... Most everyone knows about it... If you dont... I lost my patience with her not once but twice.... For those that know me, know I have infinite patience, the fact she exsausted it not once but twice, boggles the mind...
ALSO MIND BOGGLING
well not really... I figured out that if I give my 2 weeks on Thursday, I'll have my 3 day GF weekend and then go to whatever new job (prolly through the temp agency) to go to on Monday morning.... Talk about coincedence....
ALSO COINCEDENCE
or not... Mom talked about me paying rent again... she wants to see a paycheck stub so we can discuss a reasonable amount... That sounds a lot better than what she was saying b4 with 75 $'s a week.... Not bad, but still would make a major chunk of my check dissappear.... I also havent discussed the fact I plan to go to NB for a weekend in February with her yet... She doesnt have to approve it, I just wanna inform her cuz i know I'll have to remind her again right b4 i go....
Thats about it for now.... Laters.
People amaze me constantly... And not always in a good way... I always chose to see the bright side of things and ignore all the other little things that could turn out badly... The last couple of days I feel like I'm stuck in this vortex thats been spinning out of control... And for those that know me well, know I HATE not being in control... I feel like this current situation is like Dave and Brian and Katie all wrapped up in one... Of course i'm the only one who knows who all 3 of those people even are.... I've never talked about Dave here.... He's so long ago and last I heard he was married to some puta.... (yes I just cursed in Spanish.) Brian.... If you really wanna know read back to September ish.... And Katie.... Well most everyone knows about Katie.... Toss in a lil old school teenage angst, jr high drama and one insecure me and you can begin to get how the last few days have gone for me....
Which is why I'm taking back the reins to my life. I'm getting back on the ball about finishing those 2 classes, seeing if its possible to become certified to teach, even with my GPA, talk to the temp agency lady, but I'm not pinning all my hopes on her.... And let go of this silly school girl crush that has only caused me pain and anxiety.... Shouldn't be too hard right?
I only have 21 hours next week instead of the usual 35-38 so I should have lots of spare time to do what needs doing. What has to be done. What I want to be done... Time to get back on track and quit screwing around. Time to grow up and get out of this house that I don't even consider my real home... The home I remember best is the RippleCreek house... almost 12 years of happiness and heartache, laughter and tears, so many pets and friends come and gone... There was a time we jokingly refferred to it as Grand Central Station.... But since the move to the townhouse... I feel suffocated... I can see downtown.... I dont want to be able to see downtown.... I want trees and flowers and space.... Not all this landscaped lil plots of garden shit... We don't even have a true back porch.... Not one where I could go lay out and tan or even go out and read a book on a pretty day.... What we have is a slab of concrete connected to the backdoor thats overcrowded with plants and a table with chairs and a mini BBQ pit (not a true in the ground one, but one on rollers...)that never gets used.... I sleep and eat here. Its a roof over my head. I can deal with that. Its rent free which is what i really need at this particular time... But its stifling.... When we first moved here I was never really very claustrophobic, but now... Its like sometimes its hard to even breath... and then driving by the old house(since its off Memorial and Memorial is on the way to work it happens alot...) its like big breathe...sigh.... My dog is buried there. How much more of my heart could the place get? I'm in Houston... Its ok I guess better than Clarksville (which I miss little things about strangely enough).... I'm in Texas, which was my main goal throughout college.... And now its like I want something more.... Someplace I can think about and smile and look forward to going back to when I leave... Something I thought I had at that house.... Somewhere I'm not afraid or paranoid about crime... Someplace I can call home.... Where is it I wonder?
I used to think it was with him in New Braunfels.... Laying around the apartment, watching TV, going to Whataburger at 3 am just to get some fries, hanging out at Hastings cuz it was free, goin into gruene for ice cream on a hot day... Every time I left I felt like I was leaving part of me behind... And even when I go back now, having those memories, and knowing he's down the street but I won't see him and knowing that I'm over him, that doesn't mean my heart doesn't hurt a little bit when I'm there and doin things we used to do... Maybe thats why I think of NB as my second home... Not totally but part of the reason why I want to move there.... My mom doesn't understand.... Its not cuz of the music scene being better, its just this feeling I get coming off I 10 and onto 46 its like Hey Ali, Welcome Home, Glad you're back.... Ya know?
Okay enough with the rambling.... Its almost 1:15 and I have to work 2morrow.... Ugh.... 1-915 and then its off to the Sidecar to see Stoney.... I love that guy... He's talented and funny and he puts on one heck of a show... Kinda like someone else I know.... But we're not goin there...
anyway its off to bed... laters...
So I lied.... I said I could live without the relationship crap.... I cant.... I miss late night phone calls.... Cuddling late at night.... Last minute trips to NB.... Okay so i do miss the ex a lil..... all this freaking drama has me thinking about him more and more often.... Dammit. I miss him but I know I dont love him anymore... I'm intelligent enough to realize that but at the same time I also know that he'd never change and I'd never be happy... Hell I dont even WANT him back I just miss what we had pre me finding out about the lying and cheating stuff.... Those were the straws that broke the camels back in an already rocky relationship....
I thank God every day for W and I'm so sorry to have put him in the position he's had to be in with the 2 of us.... Its because I know there are good guys like Will and my guys out there I dont give up on men in general.
My views were screwed up for a while and I was cynical as all hell but now I'm back to being me and God help the person who tries to bring me to my knees that way ever again.....
ok I'm suddenly very tired... its been a long ass day.... and I've run a gamut of emotions.... laters....
I miss kissing... I dont really miss kissing anyone in particular I just miss kissing... Being single is nice... If only I could kiss someone again... The sex and the relationship shit would be nice to have again, but I can do without... I just missing being kissed... I've kissed a lot of guys in my life and there is 2 things I can say for certain... Drunk guys can't do it well and guys that play mouth intruments (harmonica/saxaphone, etc...) are VERY talented orally... ok, I'm freaking depressed now... 30 days til GF, how will I survive? The outfits been changed again.... Not sure to what but the skirt with the fishnets didn't look that great (ie my legs are pale so I look like a freakin goth chick) and the shirt I STILL want costs 42 $'s....
I'm goin to Marshalls and TJ Maxx and see what i can find and that shoe store next to em... So far the brainstorm is for my f me boots (little black calf boots I got for my Halloween costume a year ago) and jeans maybe... Its still pretty much up for grabs still... We'll see what i can find tommorrow... It worse comes to worse I'll hit up the Galleria... Old Navy, Gap, buckle.... We'll see how it goes.... I also need to buy Empire Records again... One of my sisters ganked it and I wanna watch it... and buying it seems the only way I'll get it... They have some movies of mine from like 2 years ago when Linz first moved there... Yeah so I'm not getting Empire back anytime soon.... ok thats it for now.... laters.....
I listen to Sublime and suddenly I wanna roadtrip to Galveston.... Man, the memories.... If i still feel like it next week and its pretty on one of my off days I think I just might go....
So I didn't do jack today... Though I DID finally get to make my chicken and dumplings.... Yummers, I tell ya.... I haven't made em in forever... Like since before Spring Break last year.... So yeah almost a year...
My mom tried to back seat cook but I'm like I've made it a million times, doof, I got it handled...
So I was talking to someone last night and I realized people get the wrong impression of me... Really wrong.... I'm an optimist... I believe in the best in people, male, female, whether I'm attracted to em or not. I also trust anyone till they betray me. I'm lucky and I don't get hurt by either of those things often... I'm also a bit aggressive which can scare people... So I'm intense at times which can be off putting... I'd like for the guy to make the first move but I don't have the patience to wait. If I see something I want I go after it to hell with the consequences... I've seen and heard things that might shock people with weak sensibilities. I believe in my opinions and I'll defend em to the death. As much as some people might think the male of the species are what my life revolve around. They'd be wrong. So wrong. I'm an animal lover and I adore kids, is it any wonder my ideal job would be working with one, the other or both? I'm determined and I know what I want and go after it. But I'm also stubborn and I can be lazy. I procrastinate almost every day in something. I don't seek trouble but somehow it finds me... Ok thats not true I do seek it sometimes...
I've been depressed, I've been a punk, I've been a pothead.... Most of my friends have always been guys so I'm like a sister to most of my guy friends which makes dating an interesting undertaking. You can't really date your brother now can ya? Thats just gross.
I don't embarrass easily, I've got ADD.... I'm curious about life so I ask a lot of why questions... If you dont ask, how are you goin to learn? People fascinate me. I love music. All kinds.
I was raised by a single mom, so if I act like women are better or smarter than men, its cuz I had such a strong role model in my mother. My father was an alcoholic we saw once every 2 weeks after the divorce till he died when I was 12.... Its one of the reasons I don't drink much and definately dont drink to get drunk anymore... I'm scared of turning out like him since my mom says I'm so much like him in other ways, what if I start drinking and I can't stop?
I'm also like to ramble on when i talk and i dream about how things could be or how I'd like them to be but know they probably never will be.... I've made myself be more practical over the years. But its hard work. Also hard work is losing weight... Its been a battle over the last 10 years or so... It goes up and it goes down and to keep it where I want it is hard...
I also like to philosophize (sp?) and I write poems cuz i'm creative like that... I'm intelligent and funny... I'm a good listener and I think I'm a good friend. I've been told I give good advice but I can't give it to myself...
okay enough deep and dark stuff.... I reveal much more and there will be no reason to read this blog anymore will there? :) Laters....
so the Tuesday started out blah and went down hill... then i got home and it got better... Its been a good night all and all....
I was gonna blog about petty drama shit, people seem determined to stir up... But its not worth it.... Will had a car accident today and he could have died. But he got lucky and just got really banged up... Scared the crap outta me... I was seriously about to take a tardy at work and go to El Campo to see him... Laura (his gf) stopped me... She made sure I knew he was ok and was like don't get in trouble at work over this, I'll take care of him.... I love that chica... Then I was almost in a car wreck on the way to work... And then another friend of mine had an incident at the bar he works at...
So yeah all that made me decide to rise above the petty drama wanna makers and just write what I feel now... I'm high as a proverbial kite.... No drugs involved.... I refuse to cater to anyone.... So if you dont like that, tough titties.... Yes I just said TITTIES.... Its my Aunt Bonnie's favorite saying when one of her kids doesn't get their way.... hehehe.... Now if you get lucky (no not like that) and I DO cook for you... Be grateful dammit. I make some killa meals.... and desserts too... speaking of which I forgot to get celery and carrots at Krogers today... shoot... No chicken and dumplings darn it.... ah well I can do it 2morrow and make my turkey patties too... Did I mention I'm off work 2day... er tommorow... dammit Wednesday! So I'll have time to.... That and Marshalls.... Maybe Cactus Music too... I went to sonic for lunch today for the first time in a long time and then Best Buy and got Sublime's Greatest hits and Green Days American Idiot.... You should all have both... They rock....
So yeah I got home and my night went from ok to pretty darn good...
Life is very interesting.....
Also right quick.... the Disney theory I keep talking about? heres a few examples....
Mine is either Beauty and the Beast or the Little Mermaid...
Beauty and the Beast - yes I like big rough looking guys with good hearts and dream of happily ever after...
Little Mermaid - I just wanna be a mermaid.... and get the guy... :)
Other Disney Movies and their theories....
Sleeping Beauty - hang out a lot on your own, sometimes with a small group of friends and dream of being awaken to love by the kiss of a Prince....
Lion King - guys who have issues with their fathers, and can't wait to grow up...
Finding Nemo - popular with guys cuz of the comedy and father/son issues....
Robin Hood - guys - dream of being heros to someone and getting the girl.... girls - dream of being rescued by a dashing hero....
those are the ones people usually answer so those are my main theories... They usually apply pretty well.... thats about it for now... laters.
Ok 2 hours later I feel soooo much better... Chocolate, changing clothes and dinner will do that for ya... Though technically it wasn't dinner so much as some rotisorie (sp?) chicken and cheese.... ah well... I might go back for strawberries after while... They're yummy... Also talking to some people helped me to kinda work it all out...
So Ali's Happy Post of the Day.... I LOVE COWBOYS.... hehehe.... I was listening to Chris Ledoux and I was thinking if he were like 20 years younger, I'd hit it... Him and George Strait too... Ok so I dont just love cowboys... I love singing cowboys too.... Man I cant wait for rodeo... Can't wait for GF and I cant wait for rodeo... hehehe... Both for very different reasons... i finally got through the Blue DVD last night... CB's still hot and Justin is too... Lord love a duck I love men in general...
Funny story I was telling Cruz about the angry phone call and saying how stupid some boys can be (sorry but its true)... 2 cute guys were shopping and one of em stops and is like girls can be too... I gave him that much... Girls definately can be too... So yeah we're all stupid, ain't life grand? hehehe...
Gage accused me of being in love.... No, not love.... Lust, yes, like definately.... But love.... No. Love is.... Lord.... Love. What can I really say about it? First of all you actaully have to meet.... Yeah thats a step in the right direction. hehehe... But Gage also accused me of being penis whipped and addicted too... I'm neither but I am really into this guy thats too thick skulled to realize its him I'm talking about.... Though he could just be playing it off if he does know... hmm.... Interesting..... Very interesting.... There is also he knows and doesn't feel the same.... Then theres the fact he may know and thinks I'm crazy.... Lordy.... I'd hate it if it was one of those last 2.... Dear Abby (aka Kevin) suggested patience and seeing if he wised up in a week and guessed, if he hadn't already... Wise guy that Kev.... B and Seany also advised the same thing... So I guess 3 killa advice givers can't be wrong...
Ok, post done.... :) Laters.
After today..... I think that a lot of people need to learn to take a freaking joke... My last post I wasn't serious about not goin to GF, drama, and whatnot.... I was just thinking in extremes.... "What if" sorta things... Jesus H Christos... I've never gotten so many pissed off phone calls and PMs.... I won't apoligize for saying it all cuz thats what I was feeling at the time and I've learned to say what I feel, when I feel it, otherwise it grows and festers and one day the volcano erupts and a lot of people get hurt... If my last post DID hurt your feelings I am sorry... Its not my way to hurt people... But this is MY blog and I put my feelings here, if you don't like it, then dont read it...
I really hate to have to fucking defend myself and I want to cry. I'm tired. Work sucked. Its time for chocolate. Later.
So I thought about NOT going to Greenfest... For like 2 seconds.... being hunted down and killed didn't sound fun... So its back on after 2 seconds of thought.... hehehe... 33 days.... I so cannot wait... Cory one night... GF the next... and knocking someone's socks off in between.... ;)
Seriously though I have suspicions of potential drama.... If he wasn't coming I don't know if I'd even try.... If he wasn't I probably would cuz I don't mind being in a chick fight... Just add pudding... hehehehe... Its him I'm concerned about fighting... Not me... No no no.... Fighting with the ex and the ex's roomie and one of my friends who is potential dating one of em.... But the ex... Oh my... I know he wants nothing to do with her but she's implementing all these changes in hopes of making him sorry or suffer somehow... WTF??? Yeah, Lord help us all....
So yeah speaking of him... Sarah and I stayed up talking about him last night after I got back from House of Pies with B... I didn't go to Randy Rogers after all... We're proud of what he's trying to make of himself. And we both agree a lot of people get the wrong idea about him... Too bad I probably wont get to talk to him till Wednesday, unless I get home from work early 2morrow... Or hes still up when I get off Tuesday night... We'll see....
By the way, Kevin's my new Dear Abby... He gives good advice.... :)
Long time no shout out eh, Pluto? :)
So yeah B called me up after I was halfway to the Firehouse last night and said''Alfalfa, let's go to house of pies..." I was indecisive before so that kinda decided it for me... Barvarian chocolate... hmm mmm good....
Something I have to say about my guys... They may drive me nuts with their antics and stunts but they keep me sane too... And I love each and every one of em... They know that though.... And they love me.... How could they not? :) I'm their mascot after all... and a damn good one... Not that there was ever any doubt...
work was blah.... I apoligized for acting like a bitch yesterday... I made everyone listen to my Jack CD (Hey You).... the boys got into for a lil bit then they started makin fun of it the fockers.... and I think Rodney thinks Im a manhater.... hehehe.... when in fact I love em all....
Brian's sick... he missed work yesterday... Poor baby... My Florence Nightengale instincts almost kicked in fully.... I held back though...
I was proud of me... I'm still tired as hell.... I cant shake it, I think I just need a like a full day of nothing BUT sleep. Not gonna happen but itd be nice...
By the way, the work schedule for this week....
Today - 930 - 615
Monday - 945 - 6
Tuesday - 1-915
Wednesday - off
Thursday - 945 - 6
Friday - off
Saturday - 1- 915
And Saturday is Stoney Larue at the Sidecar so I'll go straight from work there... :)
Mom came home from Dallas today with presents.... Very nice.... :)
La's legs are still icky... um other than that.... Not much else goin on... laters....
No matter how hot a guy is, you don't ever wanna pinch his butt with his girlfriend and/or mother standing right there....
Ali's advice for the day.... I took it too.... Pretty amazing I know... My song for the day? "HEY YOU" Jack Ingram.... Obvious reasons....
The crush.... lord he drives me nuts.... still... and amazingly enough I've had this crush since like before Christmas.... Though I didn't really realize how awesome a guy he is till around New Years... I think I'm goin for a record... I'm like a freaking schoolgirl I tell ya...
Work sucked and will suck 2morrow.... The guys were being assholes and I was being a bitch... So it all evened out... And on top of that some older guy walked by and had on Aramis.... Now for those that don't know me well, Aramis is my daddy's old cologne... Occasionally I spray a bit on a card at Foley's or whereever I am with men's cologne and sniff it fondly... He's been dead since 1990 but still that cologne makes me think of him... And I was so out of it (tired, hungry, overall UNPREPARED to be emotionally stressed....) when this guy with the same cologne as my father wore it just caught me off guard... I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach and I couldn't catch my breath.... I felt the tears coming so I went to lunch and talked to b and I was alot better.... thank God for good friends...
Sean and I watched 13 goin on 30 last night and then I fell asleep during the Blue DVD... Sean woke me up before he left at 1 and took me upstairs and tucked me in.... Arent my friends the greatest? reminds me I need to ask Gage a question about Justin... Sean said he looked all kinds of messed up (ie on drugs) and I'm curious if Gage knows since he was there.... And I've learned Sean is usually right when it comes to this sort of thing being an ex addict himself (4 years now from coke and x and almost 2 for pot).... Its corny but its true its amazing what the love of a good woman can do... His and Laurie's whole relationship has been a rollercoaster for the last 5 years ( I dated him at one of the times they were broken up, not smart on my part...). He gave up the drugs because he didn't want to risk losing her... One of her best friends in high school had ODed and so shes a lil sensitive about the drug thing... I can totally understand... anyway..... the songs right.... you always feel 17 in your hometown.... I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling like the scared, lil 17 punk ass kid playing at being grown up.... People think I have confidence out the ass.... ANY confidence I have has been hard won... Learning to love yourself is hard but its something you gotta do before you can love anyone else... How cliched does that sound? Buts its true... Speaking of which... Someone mentioned in passing what great looking kids me and my current crush would have.... No problems with confidence whatsoever.... what he didn't realize is that we're both totally insecure... That got my biological clock to quietly ticking... I'd love to get married and have kids... One day... First I have to get this whole relationship thing worked out... and get my life straightened out... If Mr Right happens to come along in the meantime it'd be nice but I'm not gonna get my hopes up... Anyway I'm gonna get ready to go and see if I feel like goin to Randy Rogers or not.... laters....
WARNING : Lil Bit of a Rant....
Ok so last night I was horribly afraid I may have messed something potentially great up... Now I'm not so sure...
I wrote a stupid impetuous thing and mailed it... PMed actually... I went to bed stressing about having written it...
Woke up today and went to find a reply that was only two lines long.... WTF?!?!!? So I reply and spend most of the day I'm NOT doing markdowns worrying about his reply... I get home, NO FUCKING REPLY TO MY MESSAGE!!!! Argh....
I don't even know why I'm so stressed when its apparently all one sided... (guess whose side it is??? :( ) and we know from past experience thats no bueno... I mean yeah we flirt... but who don't I do that with? and most of the talking we do, I do...
One sided...
Speaking of which, I think Brian has a lil crush on me.... either that or he's desperate for company.... hehehe.... All day long we're back and forth... him - you goin tonight? me - maybe... him -you goin? me -probably not? him - Goin? me -Cant... him - Happy hour? me - let me see.... him - Can you? me -Probably not..... Him - I dont think I will if you dont... me - okay... hehehe.... I'm so mean... I did give him my # so if he gets too bored he may come hang with me and Sean... whose on his way as I type.... we're gonna hang out and watch movies... i think... Not sure yet.... But yeah at one point Dora almost caught me and him talking and giggling in the stock room... thank goodness she kept walking and I slapped a hand over my mouth so I didn't laugh TOO loud... But I didn't wanna go to Sullivans mainly cuz its yuppie scum hell from what I hear.... and I'm tired dammit...
But yeah seems that even on your day off people can't stay away from the store... and those that have quit... Ellen stopped by today.... Cruz and Frank both came by... I had trouble looking Cruz after a dream I had about him last night... slightly embarrassing I admit since I am in no way attracted to him... Hes way too old # 1 (38)... and he's no Brad Pitt (the only one I'd make an exception for age wise - my limit being 35....). um other than that not much goin on.... I'm gonna go change and stuff and wait for Sean's bony ass....
Oh yeah someone asked me... whose Pixie and Stix? They're me... :) Nicknames the guys gave me... among many others... thats really it now....
laters....
Gage is gonna get a kick outta this entry, least for the first part.... I've listened to nothing but Blue October since yesterday... had the Answer stuck in my head yesterday and Balance Beam.... Then today it was like James, Chameleon Boy, HRSA.... Just certain lines hit me.... and its like wow.... Its seriously music for every mood... And I'm fairly certain I'm the only person who can turn james from a revenge song into a song that could be made for a dominatrix...
But yeah Justin gives good advice... "One, you’ve got to take it kind of slowly...Two, you’ve got to hurry up and make your move...Three, you’ve got to tell her that she’s pretty... Four, you’ve got to be a perfect gentleman When you shake the wall you've gotta make it bend....Yeah, you've got to show her that. She's the balance beam and I keep falling all around this fairytale..."
Cuz guys if you dont tell a girl she's attractive or treat her right... You won't get treated right and the relationship is more than likely doomed to failure...
Justin also gives good advice to me for my current situation.... "you've got to take it kinda slowly..." Now the handful of people that I've talked to about this guy have all said this.... But I'm spoiled... I dont want to have to wait... I want what I want when I want it...(IE him, NOW. on a silver platter, please...) But I also know that all good things come to those that wait.... and I think that he's one of those things that are....
So yeah La's bday... We went to this place called rouge... fancy schmancy.... Mom was pissed about the hair (even though Ive gotten a lot of compliments...)... being up and the color change... Took like 2 hours to get food and eat pay and get home... I had shrimp cocktail that was eh... Big not great and the cocktail sauce had horseradish in it... ew... and the place had no ketchup.... a restaurant in the south that advertises American cuisine has NO KETCHUP.... so anyway we get home have the ice cream cake... with champagne (alcohols ok, just not in excess...)... it was divine... work today... lucky me... Doras been kinda quiet the last day or so... though today she had me working in another section doing mark downs... She never called to tell me to SCAN SCAN SCAN... Frankly I felt unloved.... hehehehe..... Or not.... So anyway I'm off to eat the left over shrimp and maybe a salad... make my own damn cocktail sauce... since that seems to be the only kind i like anymore... on the way to work I discover Sean's cell in my backseat... Call him at his place on lunch to tell him... not there....All I told his roomie was to tell him Pixie called... hehehe... Shes baaaaack.... ;)
If anyone's looking for me tonight after midnight... I'll be asleep... the last week of 2 am nights or later had been killing me.... Last night it was Sean at House of Pies at 1 am (hence how the phone ended up in my truck and no we weren't doing anything but talking, geez... He's like my brother...)... you've never seen anything as funny as me tryin to eat pie AND get a backrub and Sean tryin to eat pie and smoke AND give me a backrub... Man can we multitask or what! :) Plus as most people know I am the Queen BackRub Whore... And my shoulders still hurt... even put on Icyhot last night b4 i went to bed....anyway the last couple of nights its been staying up late chatting... this going out/staying up late AND opening the damn store is gonna leave me dead on Sunday... And on the tombstone? "Had Too Much Fun..." hehehe....
so yeah... um I'm hungry, time to eat.... laters....
“Balance Beam” –Blue October, Consent to Treatment
I haven’t been quite the same
So sure the story of my life would never change
But in a bright eyed way I rinsed out the soap in my eyes
And wrote a song that I’m about to sing
Cause it’s about a girl
That I hardly even know
So this is not another love long
Just a list of things that I should know and everyone should know
Chorus
One, you’ve got to take it kind of slowly
Two, you’ve got to hurry up and make your move
Three, you’ve got to tell her that she’s pretty
Four, you’ve got to be a perfect gentleman
When you shake the wall you've gotta make it bend
Yeah, you've got to show her that
She's the balance beam and
I keep falling all around this fairytale
We took a walk in the rain
I suggested, she confess
There's a park nearby to cast the shade
Stay cool but I'm giddy like a schoolboy
You've gotta handle with care, she is not a toy
Then gradually we touched
Though our clothes were wet
We just sat and smiled
I never thought I'd smile so much
The first kiss always says the most.
Chorus
So I've really been feeling this one... Partly cuz its fun, some cuz of the new crush, which seems to have some people intrigued.... I've never done the mysterious thing and I'm finding its rather fun... Though I have to make sure I don't take it to the extreme... And ruin any shot I may have...
Speaking of crushes... Brian gave me his # today... What I wouldn't have done for it like 3 monthes ago... Geez.... Now its just like ok we'll hang out, whatever.... He's cute and he's charming but he's not for me...
I did find out today we both used to be punk kids... How cool is that? He was like yeah I went full on like goth kid back in the day, make up, nails, the whole 9... I was like shit you too? And we compared notes.... hehehe....
Speaking of which thats something I dont think alot of people realize... Especially after talkin to Stu last night and some of my coworkers today... Before I started this blog... Before my musician thing.... Before I decided to become a teacher... Before I really knew what I wanted out of life.... I was a punk rock princess.... Full on black clothes, make up, nail polish and Doc Martens (and yes even the fishnets).... Listened to nothing but the Clash, Bickley, Ramones and a whole other host of well known and not so well known punk bands... Also I was heavy into smoking da pot.... Pipes, bongs, j's, I'd hit it all... the better the weed the more I liked it... Its the only true addiction I've ever had.... I could never get enough... Why did I do it? I'm not really even sure... Kills brain cells.... Theres a recommendation... Its illegal... Ok no comment... Makes ya sterile? Oh shit I have to stop. But the craving has never gone away... Sometimes I'll be just minding my own bidness and someone will walk by thats been tokin a smoke... and its like I just breath in as deeply as I can and hold it and for that brief moment, that one instant... I'm transported back and theres nothing I wouldn't do for another bong hit or j... I'm so attuned to the smell I can tell you who all at Dillards hits it and who sells it... Yeah.... That bad... I'm not ever gonna do it again but the wants there... I also want to get my ears pierced again... not just the normal 2 but I want a loop like in the top of my lobe... still no tattoos though I still want one.... too much pain and decision making to do there... But yeah the whole punk thing is why I like guys that all tatt ed up, pierced, guys most people consider 'scary'.... (*throat clearing* SARAH!!!) One of my best friends was a tall skinny kid named Tommy... all black clothes, long stringy black hair, combat boots, black nails, eye makeup and more holes than the Titanic... Thats just one example.... If anyone knew my boys they'd understand... They're all such goof balls with such awesome hearts, but looking at em.... They kinda funny looking... Hard core rock surfer boys with tats and piercings out the wazoo... I get strange looks hangin with them but screw em these guys are my babies... and anyone who says a cross word or looks at em wrong... They'll have me to deal with.
That might not sound like much but when I'm pissed off, size doesn't matter, I'm very good at taking people down a peg or 10.... No shit. Fights aren't fought with fists alone. Words can wound just as well if not better.... Besides if anyone had the nerve to try to hit me... I got 4 back up plans ranging in ages 23-30... All over 6 foot and all brawn.... Try me, biatch....
Ya learn something new about me everyday don't ya? that punk/pot is not even my biggest secret.... Sheesh....
When I say my life's an open book I really mean it dont I?
Well except my big secret.... :) But thats one only like a handful of my closest friends know... and not even all of them know it.... okey I think thats it other than La's bday stuff and I'll do that later since I'm drained..... laters.....
Just for Bec... A roll cake... Least a picture of one... Minus the clown, the wings and propeller... hehehe...
http://www.baskinrobbins.com.ua/cakes/1/5.jpg
so I won't be on much this week... Why?
Wednesday - work from 945 - 615 and then dinner rez at 730 with the fam...
Thursday - work 945- 615 and Aaron Watson at Blancos
Friday - same work schedule, either goin to the movies with Mom or Sullivans with Cruz and Brian....
Saturday - work 945- 5, maybe church at 530, Randy Rogers at either the Sidecar or Firehouse... Pretty sure its the firehouse....
Sunday -work from 1145-615
Need me? Call me, text me, email me or PM me.... :)
So what did I do since my last entry? Well I talked to my guys... Poor things were bored... and that means trouble.... hehehe... went to hot topic... cute boy wasnt there but I finally got fish nets.... hit VS again... put gas in the car... eggplant parmesan for dinner... i like it fine but I'm still od ed from Christmas.... hair is now auburn (gorgeous) and the nails are nice and glittery pink.... same crush as before.... I could be nice and give out hints but enough people know I think... Besides every hint I can think of would make it blatantly obvious... So no.... I'll say this much though... I haven't had butterflies in a long long time.... Its a good feeling.... 38 days till GF... I plead the 5th from here on in.... :)
Laters....
Ok its official... No more drinking for Ali. It may be fun. It may be great... But every time I drink I seem to learn something dissappointing and the alcohol just makes it worse...
So for the time being its Sober Ali... Hell I have more fun not drinking most times than 10 people should be allowed... I get drunk, I get quiet and moody and I start craving pot. Thats something I know that will never fully go away but it gets a million times worse when I drink... So yeah Sober Ali in full effect biatch! :) If it werent for a 5 am call to Brody (thanks again, honeychile... I owe you yet another one...) I'd have been bawling all night... Or at least what remained of it... Yeah I drink and its easier to slip into old habits.... Pot being one... Punk.... Yeah... Life can get interesting... To say the very least. I'm one morose mother fucker when I drink.
and no more 4 am mornings for a while either.... I've been doin that all weekend and I am so damn tired right now...
I'm dying my hair red again tonight.... Painting the nails... Pretty pink called Champagne Toast... I also hit up the semi annual sale again yesterday.... Yeah someone may be seeing stars.... *insert angel* But don't feel sorry for him.... If I don't break him I may pass him around like j in a circle.... shit pot reference just kinda snuck in there.... Ah well... I've lived through worse things....
Funny story.... I went to Baskin Robbins yesterday to order Lauren's cake... I fill out the form thingy and I'm about to pay and the lady behind the counter and I are talking... Turns out Linz had been in there earlier and place the order without telling me.... silly girl....
Well, I'm off to Hot Topic.... forgot something there the other day and i want to flirt with the cute boy some more..... Laters.
more lyrics... don't really like the tune but the lyrics suit me.... This one by Howie Day.... "Secret"
It's your secret
Why wouldn't you tell it to me?
It's your lover
On the television scream
Why would you not try to be?
Why would you not try to see?
It's about your blue hair
I want to stay the night with you
You got the beamiest face
Car turns right I'm into you
Right from wrong is not quite seen
Right from wrong is it everything?
It's your secret
It's your secret
Tell it to me
Tell it to me
Don't want to step on the cracks
The feeling is we didn't
You got the beamiest face
Car turns left I'm into you
Taking sleepy pills for rest
Anxious love gets so obsessed
It's your love affair
On a quiet sunday afternoon
And your speedy pills
You should know i'm into you
Why would you not try to be?
Why would you not try to see?
i'm bored so 3 posts in one day....
Eli Young Band
"Still Think Its Me"
In one moment we gave it up
You decided that this wasn’t love after all
We showed the world we gave it a try
It didn’t work and god knows why
Now you’re off to find someone knew
Wondering if there’s still someone for you
Chorus
And I still think it’s me, I still think it’s me
I still believe one day you will see
That we can’t fight it or even deny it
I need every breath you breathe
I still think it’s me
You always said you’d end up alone
Never find a man of your own, that’s not true
High and low, you searched everywhere
But all along the answers been right there
In front of you for all this time
Was the man you always wanted to find
Chorus
Chorus
all right off to get the roll cake and to maybe go to hot topic.... definately richards.... hehehe.... laters....
So my mom loves me, my sister's trying to kill me and men drive me insane....
Moms made dinner of poblano peppers and she made shrimp too and left me some for lunch... She KNOWS how much I love shrimp, God bless her....
La called me up and told me all she wants from her birthday is a roll cake from Baskins with world class chocolate... after I find out I've lost 4 and a half pounds in the last 2 weeks.... Does anyone have any idea how many calories there are in a roll cake? Not that I won't enjoy every last one but good grief....
and men... well yeah see the song post below..... thats it... laters......
if this doesn't sum up how i've been feeling nothing will.....
One Little Word(jennifer hanson/billy austin/greg barnhill)
Sometimes it seems like we’re just.
Going nowhere.
Sometimes it feels like you don’t care.
I throw up my hands and say.
It’s just too hard and then.
Chorus:One little word, one little touch.
One little look can mean so much.
Baby, you get me to believe.
In everything we can be.
You don’t know what it’s worth.
Oh to hear one little word.
Sometimes it seems like you’re so.Far away.
There’s nothing left for us to say.
Just when I think our love don’t live here anymore.
Oh then(Repeat Chorus)
You gotta talk to me baby.
You gotta let me know.
You’re still in this with me.
We’ve got a long way to go.
Oh yeah.Oh yeah one little word, one little touch.
One little look can mean so much.
Baby you get me to believe.
In everything that we can be.
One little word, one little touch.
One little look can mean so much.
Baby you get me to believe.
In everything that we can be.
You don’t know what it’s worth.
To hear one little word.
Oh to hear one little word.
Hear one little word yeah yeah.
Hear one little word.
Yeah hope can be a dangerous thing sometimes... This is another one where I'm not sure what to do.... Laters.
So, I rarely ever do this... But 2 in one day.... Wow. Be very impressed.... Though I can guarentee this won't be as hard to understand as the other.... :)
So I was gonna go to bed at 2 ish after I got off the computer but I wound up staying up till 3 writing.... Its a really rough song.... The main theme, Marshmellow heart... Theres a line about roasting and toasting it... I'll put it up on my poetry page as soon as I get it into shape.... I worked today... Dora came in for a while and bitched about how bad our stockroom looked and went to her office for most of the day...
I'm gonna drop dead, fyi... Next Sunday... Cuz I'm goin out like 4 nights in a row and I'm opening for like a week.... I'm off Monday and Tuesday and the Wednesday- Monday I open.... Wednesday night we go out for La's b-day... Thursday is Aaron Watson at Blancos, Friday I promised Brian and Cruz I'd try out Sullivans... Saturday is Randy Rogers at the Firehouse.... See why I'm gonna drop dead Sunday? geez...... I'll have a hell of a time on the way out though.... hehehe....
ITS JARED!!!! Sorry, Subway commercial.... Wrong Jared.... hehehe...
Anyway.... I've been thinking lately about how people change over time... how their relationships change and how thats just the way life is... Especially in the last year.... I found GW by accident almost a year ago (a year ago Wednesday actaully...) met some awesome people there.... Made some really good friends... Had some of those friends turn out to NOT be such good friends... had a few I got close to and stay close to... fell out of touch and back in with some... Other friendships have changed.... My family relationships have changed.... A year ago my grandmother was still alive.... A year ago my entire family wasn't in shambles.... I didnt think we'd ever be this way... And I certainly didn't think Gary would be one of the few who we keep in close contact with... Goin from the drugged up, bad ass biker dood a few years ago to domesticated daddy with a welding job at Conoco its freaking amazing... I seriously have never witnessed anything so miraculous. Back to relationships... I'm tighter with my sisters and my mom than I used to be. Part of its cuz I live at home and not at school om Arkansas anymore... Though if I dont move out in the next few months I may go insane.... Ok enough of the thoughtful caring me back to crazy me....
Ever since Sean told me I drive like a maniac with a stick shift (its an automatic and I've never driven a stick) I can't stop thinking about when I drive... and I do.... Its weird.....
Ok, thats about it for now... laters.....
this one's a bit of a rambling... done at like 2 am, so it may make no sense.... :)
My life's never been easy... Why would it suddenly be simple at 26 years old? School was hard.... Making friends was difficult.... Getting a date... every day shit is hard.... finding a new job is hard, figuring out guys, harder than you'd think.... It hasn't always been because of my ADD, sometimes (hell most times) I've had to overcome laziness and procrastinating too....Its not fair. But who said life was?
ah, well I'll live... I always do cuz I'm too mule stubborn to fail. But I know failure is inevitable in some cases... But I'm an optimist.... I choose to believe the sun WILL come out tommorrow, it may not always be but I have a 50/50 shot of getting it right... I have few qualms and little to no shame and a hell of a sense of humor to deal with it all.... If you didn't laugh you just might go insane.... At least if you were living my life... I call it boring but I've just mellowed in the last few years... Its like a fine wine.... I think I get better with age.... Learn new things, experience new things, live life and try to seize the day....
Right now Im seizing my bed.... I'm tired as hell... I'm working 1145 - 630 today and I'm off Monday and Tuesday...... Don't know what I'll do yet.... Laters....
Guess who may have overreacted?
Me.
Oops...
So I owe the person I called out an apology... I still doubt him but for now I choose to believe what he told me when I confronted him about it.
In other news, the mother/daughter time last night? Only happened for like an hour while we ate... By the time everyone was ready it was like 8 and mom didn't want to go out anymore.... So I spent most of the time on the phone with Lav and Sean last night.... Seperately of course...
Sean went with me to the grocery store (not literally of course) and since he hasn't changed his number from Cali yet, even though he lives here in town all I can say is thank God for free nights and weekends otherwise my cell phone bill would be astronomical. Talked to Natalie too, we're planning to go out to lunch one day next week since we haven't hung out since like before Christmas.... Its some kind of record I tell ya...
And yes I am working all weekend... today 2 - 9 ... (whenever they release us) and tommorrow 1145 to 6.... (whenever they release us....) I was thinking about goin to see Cooder Graw and No Justice 2night but that may or may not occur... if i get off at 930, get home at 10, change and eat, get back out the door and get to the Firehouse at 11ish.... And then turn around and be home by 1 ish.... I could change in my car like I usually do and save some time but everyones getting out at the same time and I find I do have a wee bit of modesty.... So we'll wait and see how I feel after work 2night..... ie, how hard the Nazi works us... hehehehe....
So yeah I lead an exciting life.... Or something... :)
Laters....
oh and just for Sean, whose about to kill me.... :)
Seven Spanish Angels by Willie Nelson and Ray Charles
He looked down into her brown eyes,
And said: "Say a prayer for me."
She threw her arms around him,
Whispered: "God will keep us free."
They could hear the riders coming,
He said: "This is my last fight."
If they take me back to Texas,"
They won't take me back alive."
There were seven Spanish angels,
At the altar of the Sun.
They were praying for the lovers,
In the Valley of the Gun.
When the battle stopped and the smoke cleared,
There was thunder from the throne.
And seven Spanish angels,
Took another angel home.
She reached down and picked the gun up,
That lay smoking in his hand.
She said: "Father, please forgive me,"
I can't make it without my man."
And she knew the gun was empty,
And she knew she couldn't win.
But her final prayer was answered,
When the rifles fired again.
There were seven Spanish angels,
At the altar of the Sun.
They were praying for the lovers,
In the Valley of the Gun.
When the battle stopped and the smoke cleared,
There was thunder from the throne.
And seven Spanish angels,
Took another angel home.
There were seven Spanish angels,
At the altar of the Sun.
They were praying for the lovers,
In the Valley of the Gun.
When the battle stopped and the smoke cleared,
There was thunder from the throne.
And seven Spanish angels,
Took another angel home.
There were seven Spanish angels, (at the altar),
At the altar of the Sun, (oh I believe),
They were praying for the lovers (yeah they was),
In the Valley of the Gun.(Well, well, well),
When the battle stopped and the smoke cleared (there was thunder),
There was thunder from the throne, (oh yeah),
And seven Spanish angels,
Took another angel home......
Now I bet its REALLY stuck in your head.... :) (I'm so evil.... :) )
So my secret crush? Not much of a secret anymore.... hehehe.... Thats the sort of secret I suck at keeping... I'm kinda all out there about and unless you're blind, deaf, dumb or just don't know me well, you know who it is...
Speaking of that crush.... I have something to say to someone and I don't know how to say it so I'll say it here. Dissapproving of him or the fact I like him will NOT win you points with me. I knew him well before I knew you and if you make me choose I'm afraid as much as I adore you, he'd win just based on the history.... I hate feeling pulled in 2 directions and I refuse to be. Its ok to warn me to be careful but outright scathing comments about said crush will get you nowhere and nothing... Its not that he's really attractive, sure thats about 35% of it, but he's got a good heart too... Just like you. Besides yall both have me in common, how much can you truely dislike each other with excellent taste like that? :)Thats it. Thats all... End of story.
Something everyone needs to understand is I don't really want your classic 'nice guy'... The ones who conform to what everyone wants them to be and refuse to be truely opinionated. I've got enough opinions for a small country and I dont want to feel like I can run roughshod over anyone... It'd be like being in a relationship with a child.... And I'm not doin that till I start teaching and/or become a mom.... I don't want to feel like I wear the pants in a relationship. I LIKE being a girl dammit. But I'm a strong one and I need someone equally strong... Like the song says, "Knows how to hold me back, knows when to let me go... knows just what I like when the lights go down low..." (Ok so that wasn't precisely what Bleu says but its close...) I could quote Sheryl Crow here too... Ah what the hell... "Are you strong enough to be my man?"
Ok in other news.... I was watching Judging Amy this morning and there was this guy who was trying to win custody of his daughter from her stepfather after her mother had died... But this guy was so OCD he was afraid to touch people.... Including his daughter. That got me to thinking what if I was afraid to touch people? I'd just die... I can't HELP but to touch... Its part of how I communicate for crying out loud.... Also part of my flirting... Heavily. :)
also I've had my Disney movie theme proved twice in the last week... I'll explain that when I have more time...
um what else? Oh yea I need a dog. A real one. The stuffed one's ok but I miss having a dog. The lil warm body snuggled up to you at night. The licking you awake.... Its kinda like having a man.... hehehehe..... kidding, so kidding.... But I do miss having a dog.... I really hate the fact I have to get another job, get my own apartment and get settled in before I can even think about doin that.... Thats it for now.... laters.
Ok I've done a lot of thinking. Mainly about getting a new job and my newest crush... First of all I decided I have nothing to feel guilty about on my newest crush... I was friends with him before I ever knew his ex (b4 they ever met even) and as Kev was saying the other night I've had a bit of a crush on him since I met him.... And he's right... So yeah I'm not feeling guilty anymore but I still know nothing will ever come of it...
As for work... Is it sad when drama about my name tag makes the day more interesting? I finally got it back the other day but figuring out where it went and who had it was a huge mystery... But without goin into it all, a psycho from ladies had it and Mary got it back for me...
oh yeah, if you come to Dillards and go in the mens and meander by me in denim DONT ASK ME IF I WORK HERE!!!!! The next person who does will get bitchslapped... Or I could reply, NO I just do this for fun... Which is better I'm not sure....
and Dora the explorer started out the day taking cheap shots at me and people in my department... Not cool at all.. So we had a morning meeting and I was the only one from denim there. Shes doing her thing and says all the stock rooms but be immaculate, especially the one in denim (after I spent most of yesterday working on it and she knew it). I ignore her barb and she continues on... blah blah blah fucking blah... She goes over the list of how to prepare for inventory (we actaully got hand outs on this shit...)
#8 was pointed directly at my dept. "No matter how tempted you are to move fixtures please do NOT do so, maps have already been prepared."
And we are the ONLY ones who have moved ANY fixtures in the last 2 weeks... So I wonder to whom she referred?
I decided I was better than her and laughed it off. If i were a lesser person I may be petty and mean but I'm not so I won't... Thank God I get to leave in a couple of weeks....
Also turns out no one else felt like working today in the whole damn store... every time I went up to the break room there were huge groups of people who were avoiding being on the floor... pretty funny shizzle...
Brian's tryin to convince me to go to this bar/lounge called Benji's over in Rice Village and he's so happy hes literally lit up from the inside... Its soo cute... and now that hes single again he's talking about goin to the gym and stuff.... Seems to happen to every one... Break up, work out... Hook up and stop worrying about it... hehehe... Thats about it for now...
Laters.
quick addition.... I just saw the end of Runaway Bride and I saw myself as what I'll probably be as an old lady... a lil old lady out walking in a cute lil jogging suit with baseball cap with bows ala Princess Leia... She sees the hot young guy jogging by (shirtless of course) and chases after him.... I couldn't stop laughing!!! k, thats really it...laters....
Ok, the situation from last night has been resolved, no hard feelings on either end... So potential drama avoided... thank god...
So Brian's Saga has officially ended... He and the girlfriend broke up... Turns out she not only had a husband in Central America, but also a boyfriend in jail..... WTF!?!?!?! He had a lot of fun for New Years though... wound up at a hotel with a bunch of girls... I think he's back to being the old Brian without missing a beat...
Natey and Sean both have plans tonight and I 've been at work all day so I think I'm just gonna try to watch Gram Theft Parsons and 2 Brothers and just have dinner and go to bed.... since i have to work tommorrow too.... ahh well, at least Dora was off today... Though yet more proof she's back to herself: she called in this morning to check on each area and to make sure we knew what we were doing.... She hasn't done that since before Thanksgiving...
anyway off to make my spagetti dinner with cabbage and black eye peas... laters....
God, what a way to start the new year.... Completely fuck up a perfectly decent friendship... ugh....
So I invited over a friend of mine whose girlfriend had just dumped him and I had no other plans... We've been friends a while now, and we can call each other whenever and why ever... So he comes over and we start watching Two Brothers... get a lil while into it and realize its almost 1130...so we flip it off and go to Dick Clark's new years thingy.... then the one on fox for the big ball drop.... So its midnight, do the whole lil bitty kiss thing... and before I know it we're making out... How the hell that happened I dont know... I'm not attracted to him, in fact I have a crush on someone else entirely his opposite.... I could blame alcohol but I didn't drink that much.... He's on the rebound and nothing will ever come of this night but muy complications and potentially bad implications on our friendship.... thank goodness I sent him home before I did something REALLY stoopid like have sex with him... that would be a worse disaster...
and all this after NOT goin to the Firehouse as some form of penence....
Yeah thats right I punished myself by not goin to the Firehouse... grounded myself if you will... Simply because a friend of mine's ex (also a friend of mine) current crush and I feel guilty... Just for liking him... ugh... This has been one hell of a new years.... and I still have to work 2morrow... argh... laters....
