Not Your Average Jane

so this was either gonna be titled Chocolate Pina Coladas ORRRRR The Brillance of Brian... But both are too good NOT to use... hehehe...
So I bought one of those Godiva macadmian nut, coconut milk chocolate bars... Pretty good shit, fyi... That got me thinking about drinking... We talk about alcohol ALOT at work too... So I get to thinking... I like drinking... I like chocolate... and chocolate and coconut taste really good 2gether.... I wonder how a chocolate pina colada would taste? Only thing is I don't know how the chocolate would go with the rum or pineapple juice.... So I'm not sure if I really wanna try it...
As for the Brillance of Brian... Well, there's this lil machine thats used for like pranks and stuff we're selling its got 4 handle type things with buttons on top and they're all connected by a phone cord type thing to a base... You turn the power on and hit this button in the middle... Once you hit the button in the middle it makes this good awful sound and then the light in the middle turns from blinking white to either red, the lesser shock, or green the bigger shock... I got caught unawares once by a coworker... On a green no less.... My hand tingled for like an hour after that.... One guy actaully sat there and held it, completely unaffected by the shocks... No not Brian... Brian... Aye yah yah... Brian... He comes back once while I'm on my break and gets shocked on green.... He comes back after I'm back from my break and he knows how the gadget works and he DOES IT AGAIN!!!! What the hell? Hence the brillance of Brian... Yeah, smart guys in lady's shoes we got at Dillards... Someone told me he was trying to impress me but I doubt that seriously...
Oh, but in Brian news.... Theres 2 things I'm thinking about doing with him/to him.... Besides the obvious... hehehe.... Option 1. Finding out if he's a player and if he is, beating him at his own game... I haven't played the game in a while... But I could break him and enjoy it... Am I too nice to do that though? I'm not sure... Hence the reason its still just a thought... Option number 2, stick my number in his pocket, telling him I'm not a very patient person, here's my number use it or die... Or something to that affect... Actaully 3 options... Number 3, forget about him completely... Yeah that last one won't happen till after I quit Dillards since I'd see him like every day... So how can you forget someone you see every day? Yeah, you cant....
other news.... post booty call last night I've started to realize I'm getting sucked back into a scene I swore I'd never get back into... All because of the ex... The people there I love and adore, its just that they're friends of his and if I were a more mean person I could rub it in his face they want me around even if he doesn't.... But I dont want to... I don't know what to do about this whole developing situation in general... I should have never answered the phone when I recognized Way's phone number.... Not many people with that area code call me... Unless they know the ex.... Or me through the ex.... Or that guy I gave my number to at the Rockin R.... Hehehehe.... I'm sooo bad.... ahh well.....
oh, also I found out the guy who called me past my prime is himself NOT MARRIED... WTF?!?!? Who the fuck is he to fucking judge me for anything I fucking do? Or to advise me the best way to get into a relationship with a guy... Duh, slowly... Geez.... Don't preach to me, you fucking hypocrite.... Anyway thats it for now... I have to go pack my lunch b4 i go to bed... work from noon to close 2morrow.... laters....

posted by Ali @ 1:14 AM 0 Comments

so I got home from work like 20 minutes ago.... gawd I'm tired.... My alarm went off at 5 am... I got out of bed at 6, showered and stuff and was out the door by 7 15... Got to U of H at about 730 and found the building.... Found the room and got in, the test started about 830... Finished and was home by 10 30... Got ready for work and left at 11 30.... Got to work a minute early... whoo hoo.... hehehe... Worked from noon to a lil after nine... Brian was working... We flirted a bit... Of course... hehehe.... The boots I crave are 225 dollars... Yeah I can afford THAT! Or not.... But a few funny things from the day... aside from the fact I'm still up is pretty funny...
This morning when I walked into the room where the test was and I saw this guy I SWORE was Brent... Jack ass Brent NOT Russellville Brent... I looked closer, the guy could have been his younger brother no shit.... Except I know his brother is older and a pot head and lives out in the middle of Nowhere, Arkansas... Pretty sure thats the name of the town... hehehehe....
also funny... A bunch of people at work found out I'm indesicive about who to vote for and spent almost half an hour trying to convince me to vote for Kerry... And I'm still indecisive.... Fat lot of help they were... All they could give me was he's better than Bush.... Yeah, sorry I want to make an intelligent decision.... And yet they still tried to argue me into it... Weird people....
Another funny... I was told I should think about getting married and having kids since I'm almost past my prime... I was like wha?!?!? I'm enjoying being single, I want my own place and life before I settle down... and kids at the moment are totally out of the question... I love em but they're expensive as hell and I can barely afford ME right now....
Cutesy thing... I couldn't stop singing PG's song Babydoll... Only bad thing is I couldn't recall anything other than the chorus... hehehe....
thats it for now... I'm waiting for my DDs from Blue... Hopefully I don't fall asleep b4 I get em... I text messaged Gage during lunch to remind him and he said he would... so we'll see... phone ringing, hold on.....
holy shat......... I need a lil shocky face like no one's bidness.... that was the ex... he's in town for the night.... He wanted I should come over for a lil something something.... HOLY SHAT!!!! and now Gage is DDing me... shits breaking up badly but I think I recognize it.... I heart Gage.... :0)
And I still can't believe I just got asked for a booty call.... WTF!?!?!?!?
ok now that hes called I doubt he will again, so i think I'm goin to bed unless I get DDed from Randy too.... Doubtful but possible since Stu's there.... And he's a damn good DD er... :0) thats all for now...
holy fuck.... a fucking booty call... I really am off to bed now... laters....

posted by Ali @ 10:06 PM 0 Comments

k, so mom and i saw Friday Night Lights tonight.... I thought the guy who played the QB looked familar so I Yahooed the movie.... Turns out he was the lil boy in that movie Flash... He grew up well, is all I can say...
But thats not the most interesting, odd thing... B4 the movie mom and I were talking and somehow we got into politics... big no no, i know... but yeah I was saying something about not knowing who I'm voting for... Just not Bush.... She was like there's only one other and I'm like no theres not... There ARE other guys running... To which she says, like they have any chance of winning... I'm quiet at this point, thinking shes soooo not an optimist... And she goes on to say... I'd rather you not vote than vote for the wrong guy... Shocking... So suddenly her opinions are supposed to be mine?!?!? WTF?!?!?! Sorry but I think not... Sure I don't like George but that doesn't automatically mean I HAVE to vote for Kerry... What if one of the other candidates has a platform I like more? I don't know for sure one of them do.... But I'm just saying if... Shes like you could just go straight ballot and put Democrat in the first line and it automatically chooses for you... Um, yeah, but am I Democrat or a Repulican? And why would I want one party to decide everything in the government for me? Sure I'm lazy but not even I'm that lazy...
But yeah I just had to share that bit... now I'm off to bed... alarm is set and stuff... Test and work.... gawd I can't wait for 2morrow to be over.... Laters....

posted by Ali @ 11:48 PM 0 Comments

Why me? Why today of all days? I always say I'm not gonna get involved in any more boy drama... But they always drag me into it kicking and screaming.... Why? Am I irresitable or something? I don't think so, but hey I could have a fucked up version of myself based on years or low self esteem... Now I don't of course, it was just most of high school, pretty much once I hit puberty till I was about 19 or 20.... Every now and then I get down on myself but its not the constant every day haranguing I used to subject myself to... Wait, my self esteem isn't the issue today... Its BOYS!!! Stoopid, idiotic, tall, dumb... Is that redundant? lol... But no, one particular boy is being immensely stoopid... Since I saw him Saturday, we've talked almost every day... Couple of times a day once or twice... So he calls me on the way to a gig (thats right, he's a musician... I know, I know MUSICIANS BAD.... ) and we're talking most of the afternoon... An afternoon I really should be doing nothing more than studying... But I'm not... Or is that not evident? lol... Anyway so we're talking, keeping him occupied while he drives and just pretty much shooting the shit, the way we used to when I was dating B2... Which is how I met him, in fact... They played together a couple of times... And they're friends... So anyway we're talking and stuff and off the cuff I'm like if you don't mention Randall's crush on me I swear I'll stay on the phone... And then he comes back with what about if I wanna talk about my crush on you? WHA WHA WHAT!?!?! What do you say to that? He's told me he's still dating psychobitch (my name for her not his) and then he drops this bomb on me??!?!! I'm not gonna be one of those girls, not for this guy not for anyone... You know the kind I mean... The ones who break up couples, married or not... What are they called? Homewreckers? Yeah I think thats the technical name for it... So anywho I just laughed it off and he didn't mention it again (thank God)...
I knew I never should have picked up the phone on Monday when he called.... (the house not my cell - since that was still out of commision till yesterday.) I saw the number on caller ID and I recognized it and I still picked up.... Gawd I must be some sort of sadist... So all this drama has completed distracted me from studying and getting stuff I need to do, done.... Dammit... Que Dios mia? I'm clueless....
On the other hand I was having some yummy Trailer dreams this morning.... I didn't wanna get out of bed, they were that good.....
ok something completely unboy related.... I'm goin to dye my hair in the next week or so... I bought the normal thing of blond at Walgreens a few days ago and last night at Kroger's I found the shade of red.... Now I just have to decide which color to use.... hehehe.... After that I have to decide who to vote for.... November 4 th i think is the elections.... Its like choosing the lesser of 2 evils to my way of thinking... I really am tempted to write in Willie Nelson... I trust him more than George.... I dont know enough about Kerry to trust or distrust him... I just think he looks shady... Sure he's a politician and they all look shady.... lol.... Anyway I have to go to the bank and back to studying and then get ready for my date 2night.... Mom and I are doing dinner and movie... We haven't hung out in a long ass time, so it oughta be fun.... I still need to scan my pics from Fall Fandango and put em up on my photobucket... Wonder if I could talk to John or Matt in the photo dept at Walgreens and just get a disk with em on there.... hmm.... Good excuse to swing by Walgreens... hehehe... I'm so bad... anyway I'm off... laters...

posted by Ali @ 2:53 PM 0 Comments

Ok, so more news of Brian.... no not WI Brian Cheeshead whom I heart and adore.... Brian in shoes.... I was at lunch and Allan passes me a note, like we're in jr high.... The note says he's working today... (brian not allan) And so a couple of girls from my orientation class come in and we're visiting and then Brandon from kids shoes comes in, who was ALSO in our orientation class.... Hes like who are yall talking about and I'm like Brian in shoes.... And we all get to talking and trying to distinguish one Brian from another since there are 2.... Brandon's like oh, THAT Brian... And me and the 2 girls are like huh? Brandon proceeds to tell us how Brian's a ho... He's a wanna be player and flirt and stuff... I'm like wow.... Interesting... Another wannabe manwhore? Just what I need.... Or something..... Ran into Brian and Allan in the break room while I was taking my 15.... Right b4 I left... lol.... So we'll wait and we'll see....
So I did take off work early... Used the my grandma may be dying I have to go excuse... Got off work 2 hours early... Went to the PG signing at Cactus... It was JUST a signing.... No singing... Kinda dissappointing.... But I saw him at FF a few days ago so I'm still happy.... :0) Floating on a PG high so to speak.... hehehe.... I'm off 2morrow and Friday so whoo hoo.... I do have the THEA on Saturday though.... Got my replacement phone in the mail... doesnt work so I have to go to Cingular 2morrow.... Lets see what else?????? Not too damn much..... Thinking about goin to bed.... Haven't been able to stay up late enough to talk to Lav or Kev or Gage lately... Maybe 2morrow.... Laters.....

posted by Ali @ 11:22 PM 0 Comments

So a funny thing from work yesterday I forgot b4 I go into the shitty day today....
I found 2 pennies on the ground, side by side and I was working with a guy who was new to the store and I just bust a gut when I saw the pennies.... ( for those that know the story, you understand....)
So today was I bought Pat's new CD whoo hoo, go me!!! Couldn't stop listening to it, love it love it love it..... I was humming it as I went into work and about 15 minutes after being there I see her.... Dora, the explorer, psycho bitch manager from hell.... Yesterday was her first day back after her vacation and today she doesn't seem to have lost a step over her vacation... DAMMIT! Anyway so I'm there not even 20 minutes and she finds me.... 5 minutes later I have a migraine.... Think the 2 are connected?!?!? naw.... not AT all..... So pretty much all day any time I saw her or talked to her, I'd remind myself... Think good PG thoughts... And I'd start humming a PG song and I'd smile.... Then I'd see HER and the cycle would repeat itself.... But yeah I was so close to quitting today.... She said something and it was the complete opposite from something else I'd been told.... And just pissed me off in general all damn day... And for those that know me, know I DONT get pissed off easily.... Bitch was all up in my game when I was trying to flirt with Brian.... WTF?!?!?! Just cuz you're hard up for a man, don't interfere with my hitting on a hottie.... Oh, speaking of which somehow we've been become the talk of Dillards.... I dont even know how... Marcos, who works in denim, his aunt works in shoes with Brian, found out he's single... Allan from shoes knows I think Brian's a hottie and Cruz and Marcos are both like he's a sweetie and even Nancy's gettin in on it.... If Monica or Theresa come up to me and tell me to go for it I swear I think I'm goin to quit out of embarrassment..... I've never had so many people involved in my love life..... Well meaning, caring interference I know, but interference nonetheless.... Its craziness!!!! I'm gonna be too fucking embarrassed next I see him to even speak to him, let alone flirt because it seems like too many people are talking... I dont want this shit jinxed b4 it even has a chance to even possibly develop.... geez.... People can't keep their mouthes shut at Dillards I swear.... Hence the reason I tell very few people EVERYTHING.... Like the fact that one of my relatives, I think my grandmother, is goin to get really sick in Katy 2morrow about 3 ish... So I can leave early.... Go home, change clothes, and go to the Pat signing thing at Cactus.... hehehe.... I'm sooo bad.... But that is, IF I do it.... Not sure yet.... Anyway thats it for now.... Laters....

posted by Ali @ 11:19 PM 0 Comments

So I was closing tonight and Brian (ie hot shoe dept guy) comes by the register I'm closing and rags on me cuz its one of the last ones to be closed... ( I closed 2 tonight and I was teaching the new girl how to do it at the same time, take that, Brian.... ) He's like I wanna go watch the game and I'm like score's still tied 0 - 0 in the 6th... He's like no one scored? And hes in the process of walking away and I'm like yeah least of all me... Don't think he heard that last part or at least he didn't react to it... I didn't even realize I'd said it till after he left.... Would have been funny if he'd have reacted....
Anyway, WayWay called me today he and Randall had been drinking most of the day.... Silly boys... He lectured me sorta (or at least as much as he was capable of) since I saw him Saturday and he saw me and waved but I didnt go say hi.... I hadn't seen him in monthes and he's like I miss you, screw the ex, you're more fun... And nicer to look at... I was like awww.... Thanks, honey.... I was almost late for work since he called right b4 I was about to walk out the door... He was like yea your cell didn't work so I had to explain the whole drama there to him... He pretty much ended up telling me I needed to stay in touch better.... So I promised him I would... Randalls made me promise the same thing... But he's just a crackhead.... But I promised we'd all hang out soon....
Astros won... Pretty cool....
Found out I'm a lil sunburned around my elbows too... Weirdness....
Don't you just hate when you know you have something and you can't find it?!?!?! I KNOW I have the PG intial sticker thingy I got it Saturday at Fall Fandango but I went to look for it 2night and I can't find it anywhere.... ARGH!!!!
Speaking of Patrick C. Green....His new CD comes out 2morrow GO GET IT!!!! I am ..... :0) He's doin an in store Wednesday I'm thinking of leaving work a few hours early (I'm supposed to get off at 6 15- the in store is from 5 - 7....). So we'll see.....
Ok enough with the randomness.... Laters....

posted by Ali @ 10:34 PM 0 Comments

damn.... how often do I go a whole damn week without posting... I missed my one year anniversary of being single AND my first blog post....
Damn..... Then I just found out a lil while ago that I missed Matt Powell and F Co at the Firehouse Friday.... What HAVEN'T I missed.... Missed lunch and dinner yesterday.... Well I had a bag of chips when I was at the side stage that was dinner sorta... I missed gettin a pic with the Trailers cuz of all the lil teenies... I suddenly remember why I DONT like all ages shows.... I didn't miss Fall Fandango however... Which is what the babbling is about... Met Lav there about 1230 ish... Walked in just in time for Gage's Peter... (and yes I bought the Live at Coupland's CD, so no more nagging me!) Also bought my new PG sticker... Soon as I clean off my back windshield on it goes... Took 2 lil toss able cameras and used both... I'll post the link as soon as I get em up... So anyway Lav and I spent most of the day goin between the side and main stages and consulting the schedule I'd printed off of KILT's website... I was all prepared and shit.... :0) Met lots of GW peeps which was fun... Lav got proposed to by a drunk Dusty.... THAT was some funny shit.... I have like 2 new crushes now... And no Dierks is not one of them.... He's cute and all but he doesnt do anything for me.... Potter and Ryder of course are cutie pies as usual... Manny's hot but a Manwhore In Training... Wade is a doll and Brady's got his own harem... Ryder ran away cuz he heard I was coming to get him... lol.... Found out Justin's drumming for Django now and not Pat... Alex looked like he'd just rolled out of bed and on stage... Fred is ALWAYS hot.... Eric, Peter's bassist, silly but cute... And Brooks STILL looks like Animal from the Muppets... Saw Fowler for the 1st time... Gary Allan's show did nothing for me... Pennies.... Pennies was just Pennies.... There are no words for him.... And Pat... Oh, my, heavens... PAT.... Patrick Craven Green.... Let me just say I love that man as much today as I did the first day I heard him... He put the new stuff and the old stuff together so well.... Left about 10 ish and promptly got lost... Went to Willis instead of Houston... added an extra 20 minutes onto my trip... Go me... I barely made it into work today.. I also have a flip flop tan and my shoulders are sunburned.... Could be I was outside for almost 10 hours with no sunscreen or anything... lol...
Ok so the last week quick update... Found out the Brian in shoes that I have a crush on is NOT the same one as Linz's... He's 21... damnit... He's a bit on the young side.... Though I have dated younger.... Not by much though.... Work is work is work... Linz borrowed and lost my cell.... So if you have my number it doesnt work anymore, since i had to cancel it and you need to send me your phone number (s) again... sunnychic78@yahoo.com I'll email out my new number when I get it....
Its been a pretty boring week... I worked everyday but yesterday... Haven't done much jobhunting but I did start studying for the TASP/THEA next Saturday... Dora (ie Attila the Hun, AKA the psycho bitch from hell) comes back from vacation tommorrow... Lucky men's dept... Or something... Its been almost heavenly working without her around.... Its been like a working vacation kinda... But it all ends in the morning... too bad.... All righty I think thats it.... Laters.....

posted by Ali @ 9:48 PM 0 Comments

Have you ever met someone that you wanted to tell everything to? From all your deepest darkest secrets to what you had for lunch.... Its a pretty amazing feeling... And I realize I don't really know this person well, but I'd really like to... He just seems to be the most amazing human being ever.... The fact he's easy on the eyes, is just a nice bonus... :0)
Anyway... I'm officially off work next Saturday so I can go to Fall Fandango... Its just a matter of who I go with... Nat says she's getting tix, but who knows... If worse comes to worse I'll just get my own damn ticket... All I want is to be there... Everyone from GW will be there (almost) and the Trailers and Dierks Bentley are playing and Pat too... I havent seen Pat since the summer of 03 in Corpus when I saw Phil Pritchett and Ragweed for the first time...
Speaking of work... Attila the Hun's off this week!!!! She's on vacation... hehehe... Sure she'll probably drop in unexpectedly to 'check on us' but the atmosphere is soooo much better without her there... Its tons more fun, lots less stress and looking over your shoulder, lil to no drama... Its a freaking cakewalk, except for the hours on your feet part... :0)
Anyway Im off to do some more shopping... The Galleria this time I think.... I need a new pair of shoes for work... Something comfy and cute... Is that too much to ask? lol... Laters...

posted by Ali @ 12:48 PM 0 Comments

So my baby sis is a nut.... I tell her I want her to go to the Blue October show on the 21st and I want her to go with me since she's the only person I know in town who likes them... Shes like I can't, I have midterms... Ok, I can understand that.... Then she's like call Mike he likes to see them live.... Wha wha what??? Ok, for those that DONT know Mike (aka Montana Mike) is her most recent ex... Yeah, hence the she's a nut thing.... She ran into him at Buffalo Wild Wings Monday night too.... Weird... But yeah, I liked him just fine as her boyfriend, not so sure how it' d be to hang with him now that they broke up.... Weird I bet... So I'm goin with no calling him for the Blue show... So I'm still on my own, unless Gage comes to town... This is what I get for burning bridges with so many people from high school.... Though I dont think many of them would like Blue like I do... Though there are one or 2 that I can think of that might enjoy it.... But I have no idea how to get a hold of Artie OR Tommy... Too bad, I loved those guys... Tommy, my duct tape king and Artie, my bisexual activist... Ahh, them was the days....
Anyway speaking of Blue... I have a new crush... Ok, so 2 new crushes.... CB, plays lead guitar, hot hot hot.... Gage said he'd break me... But if Gage ever met Matt N. (aka Scooter Boy) he'd understand... They're almost twins... And the other... Well, lets just say he has a lot in common with one of my good friends and myself.... I never realized 3 people could have so much in common.... Very unexpected but cool too.... (THREESOME!!! lmao.... me, and 2 guys... I like them odds.... :0) )
Ok so today on the way to work I had a flat.... Took me most of the afternoon to take care of.... It sucked.... Least I found out I only had to work till 615 and NOT 915 like I had thought... So I only had to work for like 3 hours.... Came home, mom made dinner, Linz came over and then I took her back to her place...
I did watch Kevin Hill though on UPN 2night.... Oh, my gracious... Aside from the hot guy factor, this looks like one helluva sweet show... Single parent trying to keep it all 2gether and have a life and work and raise a baby on his own... Tugs at the heartstrings... The fact that the single father is Taye Diggs doesn't hurt any either... :0) Also has Jon Seda, who played Chris Perez in the Selena movie.... Hot hot hot.... :0)
Yeah, Ali needs to get laid... Whats new?
So today is also Kevin's birthday... (Happy Birthday, Pluto!!!! ) He's now 21... Gasp, egads... lol... 2 monthes from today I hit the big 2 6... What are yall gettin me? ;0)
Aside from work, and job hunting and studying for the THEA (TASP), not much else is goin on.... Boy the exciting life I lead, I tell ya.... lmao.... Laters....

posted by Ali @ 9:09 PM 0 Comments

Okay, so I've had like 3 phone calls today, people worried and stuff.... I appreciate it, really I do... Just not when I'm at work and can't talk without getting in trouble... (not supposed to talk on your cell on store property - sure at lunch I check my messages and stuff but I can't pick it up when I'm on the sales floor) Anyway so people are freaking over that whole high blood pressure thing... And how off the cuff I was about it... Thats because at the moment, the dr wants to keep an eye on it not take any kind of action since she thinks its caused by stress I'm under.... No biggie at the moment... So I'm gonna try some relaxation techniques and add more pottassium to my diet (its supposed to help lower blood pressure...). Then we'll see what happens next time I see her.... So don't freak out... :0)
And the other situation last night... Well Mom sort of apoligized, she said she'd had too much to drink but that she thought I was handling it the best I could and she was impressed with the maturity I'd shown... Half assed and I don't know whether to believe her now or not.... Cuz you know what they say about what happens when you drink right? The truth is revealed with more ease... So now I'M not sure if I want to trust her... I guess this is another of those situations we'll have to wait and see what happens with...
Huge sale goin on at work... Worked 8 hours today and barely got to take lunch and my 15 minute break... Have to be there at 10 2morrow (even though we dont open till noon) and stay till we're done recovering after closing at 6.... Thank God I have Monday off.... Every guy that hit on me today was either, too young, too married, too much of a mama's boy or a co worker.... So much for Kev's suggestion Id find more dates... Ah, well I'll live as usual....
Was gonna go see Honeybrowne tonight but theres no way I could make it through the night, on my feet, driving, being up late, waking up at 7 and be at work at 10 without wanting to kill anyone... I'll probably wanna kill everyone by 7 2morrow night.... But again, we'll wait and see..... Thats bout it for now... Laters.....

posted by Ali @ 10:35 PM 0 Comments

Tonight there literally are no words to express myself properly.... I've never felt so frustrated, so down, so.... stressed... There's not really any words for what I'm feeling... I'm just so damn close to tears my vision' s a little bit blurry... I've never felt so damn worthless in my entire life as I did and still do at this moment.... Ok tearing up has lead to dripping tear drops and sniffles... To know someone thinks so little of you after all you're tried to do to prove to them otherwise, its completely disheartening... Makes me wonder if I'll ever do anything or be anything good enough to ever satisfy her... I think the answer there could be no especially if this most recent trend keeps up.... I dont know if she's menopausing and just taking it out on us or not... Hell, me period... She and Lauren are still as thick as thieves and I feel like a 3rd wheel that just happens in live in the same house.... Why is she treating me, her own daughter like crap? And when she does talk to me all she ever does is talk down to me, like i'm not fit to clean her boots.... And she never believes anything coming out of my mouth, she's told me as much and to a point I can understand but to reprimand me for not feeling good (and then tell me she doesnt believe I'm sick) and goin to see a movie with a friend who I hadnt seen in weeks, is just ridiculous.... She yelled at me for calling in sick to work... She again brought up the saintly fucking example of herself.... She then goes on to tell me she doesn't know why I took this job... And she goes on to harp on the get medical training and do you even care about anything? Because she can't see that I do care about my life or have a passion for anything... Just because I keep my emotions close to the cuff in her presense, she says I have none? What the fuck??? She then harps on the spending money thing some more and how clean the house and my room aren't..... She ends the lecture by saying you'd wish I'd just shut up and go to bed now dont you.... I answered her honestly... Yes I do.... She says a very curt good night and leaves...
And now here I am trying not to cry and listening to Secondhand Lions... I think I need to change it to Best Lil Whorehouse in Texas... I could use a giggle... Oh and on top of mom's shit, I realized today would have been Daddy's 71st birthday.... Yes he would have been that old.... He was almost 19 years older than my mom....
And the dr wondered why I had high blood pressure... With the amount of daily stress I have, wouldn't you???????? Fuck it... I tell her that and she'd be like I don't believe you and how could you spend the 30 dollars that you could be saving.... Fuck no.... I'm done for the moment.... gonna go watch something funny... I need some fucking cheering up now...... Laters.....

posted by Ali @ 9:53 PM 1 Comments